Life, Thoughts Double-Sided

Tuesday, December 24, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I always have these thoughts running through my head.
When I wake up, thoughts consume my brain.
Is this our human race?
Maybe the end of humanity?
My entire childhood I try to belong in a place.
Of course, family is number one
But as I grew older, not so much anymore.
I want a life I can claim.
I live with no regrets.
That's my motto that I aim.
I can follow a dream.
A dream to live my own life.
I knew what will happen.
But I am not a little girl.
I was always treated like one.
Like I don't know.
Like I can not comprehend the existence of the human race.
I am not ignorant but I live in a society of utter ignorance.
I am still the same human being
The same with emotional feelings.
You can not change nor phase me.
It is a state of mind.
Lost in the truth of my thoughts.
But that is what they are.
The truth flowing through my brain.
The conflict now
Wondering rather I keep them as thoughts or formulate them as words followed by sensible actions.

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Sketches Of A Woman

Saturday, December 07, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

What is a woman?
what is…therefore I am.
What is the relation
And how I live.
What is a sketchbook?
Ideas…
Outlet…
What is a sketchbook without a subject.
These are sketches of a woman.
What is ideas?
Without a relation
Free as a bird.
These memories.
Setting myself free.
What is a sketchbook without a clear realization.
Sometimes a disconnect from reality.
Breathe.
Artist outlet.
Ideas
These are sketches of a woman.

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The Moment I Met You; All I See Is You

Tuesday, October 15, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments


You are my trivial thing to make happy.

Even on the days I feel extremely crappy.

I can talk to you about anything.

Whatever life may take me.

You saved my life from spiraling out of control.

Even when it all takes its toll.

The laughter behind my cries.

The interactive outline you bring

In constant communication.

The moment I met you.

You possess uniqueness

A rare breed, unlike all others.

Something I had lost sight of

But I found my way back

Falling head over heels in love.

This is just the beginning

The prelude to the love we make.

We love so deep.

So better than a fantasy.

God must really loves me

Because you are mine

And it is getting better with time.

Love is more than a gift

That is how we know destiny exist.

Everything we have been through separately

But you came along unexpectedly.

Everytime I think of you

You make me smile.

These random thoughts of my heart

I am loving you.

Come a little closer

You filled this gap inside me.

The whole world is going to be jealous

And it will be on purpose.

I will never let you go

Mine for a lifetime.

And I will love you so the whole world will know.

Feeling so fortunate.

This authentic romance.

Nothing can stop us.

Everything is one equal plane

All I see is you.

0 comments:

Him

Monday, September 23, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Something about him.
There is no one like him.
When I spend time with him.
I do not think about no other man.
Everything I need and want is in him.
Even reminds me why I want to be with him.
I am so in love with him.

There is nothing in this world
That makes me feel like I do
When I am with him.
It does not matter because that is my man.

I just got to be the woman for him.
No one understands me like him.
Hopefully I can spend my life with him.
Wondering if I can be the one for him.
Long walks, watch TV, or just sit, and talk with him.
I want to make good love to him.

0 comments:

Happening, Falling Again

Friday, September 13, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

It is happening again.
Something totally expected.
but everything is totally worth it.
Nothing highly regrettable.

I felt all alone.
No one around.
No one who even bothered to look up.
My mind felt it it could erupt.

Somehow, you came along.
No ulterior motives.
Only just to be honest with your heart.
My mind racing like a locomotive.

Each day my heart changed.
There is no one to blame.
But trying to get over a last love was pain lost unbearable.
You made it not-so terrible.

You began to somehow repair the pieces.
Because I no longer feel like I am falling apart.
My heart tells me to trust.
That this is what I want.

I fell so quickly.
Quickly in love with you.
The charming gentleman in you too.
Maes it a little hard to believe that this is becoming so real.

Ideally, there is work needing to be done.
I no longer hide and run.
You took on the job to repair me.

No falling i love again and with you.
Allow me to try this again.
Though this will take a great deal of time.
This is well worth it over time.
In order to find and be happy again.

0 comments:

Complicated

Friday, September 06, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I put my trust and heart in others.
Now bringing me failed wonders.
People have left and tried to weasel their way back.
I will never be normal but I won't allow that.

Sometimes I wonder
If this world is too obvious to true meaning.
Fake people and broken promises, so it seems.
Predictable, people are.

Complicated.
Then all of a sudden
When everyone is lost.
You are here.

I am smiling and laughing.
How this came about.
Like a light at the end of my tunnel.
I can not help it.

My life has been one crazy funnel.
Tunnel vision.
Thinking in symbols, forms, and metaphors.
No short cuts.

But something to look forward to.
Nothing is handing to you
Through all the complicated maturity.
There is something I can truly explore.

0 comments:

Going Under

Wednesday, August 21, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I want to call but cannot dial.
I am feeling like autumn.
I need a change.
My own insecurities.
Making me feel like I was not good enough.
I still profess my love.
Confess all my wrongs.
I cannot sleep.
Need a hot shower.
Hoping it washes the pain away.
Sometimes I wonder if I am loosing my mind.
Called out your name.
But you are not there.
Alone with my fears,
Feel my heart.
All wounds in time heal.
But left with scars.
My words do not mean much.
Up all night.
Sometimes.
I cannot rest my mind.
I am so undone and empty.
I am trying.
But I am tired of these semi-sleepless nights.
Feel my heart.
It is not beating right.
Seems like I am going under.

0 comments:

Trapped

Monday, August 19, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

A women's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.
Slave ship taking me back in chains towards its deepest.
I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it.
Waking up every morning not knowing what will happen.
The slightest attraction
Where I might possibly wind up.
Thinking I have no way out.
The last thing I need is me looking like a porcelain doll.
I was everything a well brought girl should be
But inside I am screaming.
I see my life as I already live it.
Always the same narrow minded people
Same mindless chatter.
I feel like I am standing in a great precipice
No one to pull me back.
Something I could possibly lack
No one who even cares or even noticed.
It is like being inside a dream
There is truth with no logic
I'm no physic
Don't presume to tell what I will or will not do.
You do not know me.
It is the inertia of my life
Plunging ahead and me powerless to stop it sometimes.
All the while I feel like I am standing in the middle of a crowded room
Screaming at the top of my lungs
And no one even bothers to looks up.
At the end of the day, I just feel trapped.

0 comments:

Shutdown

Saturday, August 17, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Left alone.
Nothing but my fears.
I'm lost in my path.
I just want to forget all the bad.
You are the one who took all of myself.
Left me standing there like that.
Tombstone.
Left all alone.
Every bridge I cross.
My heart becomes emotionally soft.
What ever do I do.
I failed again.
How can I live
If you just forget?
Broken wings.
No one cared before.
I don't dare to cry.
It is like Russian Roulette
I pass out.
Emotional shutdown.
Love is like a toy now.
I don't understand why.
See how I have learned?
No more opening up.
My heart torn and corrupt.
Barb wire and chain.
My heart now in vain.
I guess it is a game.
A game I should know all to well.
Taught me their hell.
There is no one to blame.
Where venom can not live.
Where my angers tightly wound.
Emotional shutdown.
The lone-wolf.
With softness and strength.
My heart shell's quite brittle.
No attention needed.
Throw it away.
Lock the key.
The walls no one will break through.

0 comments:

The Heart Now Beautifully Demented

Friday, August 09, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I just take a minimal case of love
But every single time it breaks my heart
Everything I want I never thought I get
But once I have it, disappears
I take my breath
My lasting breath
The last of it I have for you.
Stressing out
Going all out
Wondering why I still care
I cant see
Why this happens to me?
What life has done to me?
I am defending
No pretending.
Putting up these walls
Not of fire and brimstone
But of barbwire and made of ivory bone.
Orchestrated and beautifully demented
Effort is a two way street
Sometimes I let myself pretend to be sleep
Just to forget
Just not to think.
Wont even allow myself to get close.
My feelings means nothing to anyone but me
Truth to be told
Not bitter
Just torn in two
Longing for acceptance
Now it is like, who cares?
But I have been waiting all my life
For it all to reach my body and my mind.
This heart now broken, closed, and beautifully demented
No one can break through.

0 comments:

The Terror of Life and Better Things

Sunday, July 28, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Is love really the light of the heart?
Getting rid of the heavy thing.
Wanting all my troubles to go away.
The terror of life and better things.
Wanting to be free.
Free as can be from this pain.
Walking the streets without jealousy.
What is this life selling me now?
Pennies for my thoughts?
Dimes for my stress?
Quarters for my heartbreak?
I guess the emotions coursing through my brain
Want to take all my loose change.
Incense to relax this pain in my chest.
Generations, and we continue to fall.
Listening to my heart.
Cast away the things I once heard.
Hear my soul instead of my words.
My mind in another zone.
If possible, a total diversion.
Anything to get from one day to the next.
Love, another fear.
Falling flat on my face like all the times before.
Nothing to hide.
But I need to run away this time.
These thoughts put tears in my eyes.
Options I thought I had.
And now I choose.
Lonely heart tears me apart.
Earplugs needed to tune it out.
Honest words turn into fables.
Everything now is made up of labels.
So tell me why nothing is right?
My emotions in constant fight?
The terror of life
Emotionally speaking.
Trying to make it and better things.

0 comments:

Letting It Go; Awake With A Brokenheart

Saturday, July 27, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Go back in time.
Let go of mine.
This pain of mine.
Piercing through my soul.
Wondering if I get back to
In the cool of the night.
Spellbound by the sight.
Remembering you and me i love so greatly.
So much I really miss.
Longing for your kiss.
Have no choice now to let it all go.
So deep in my soul with care.
As I fix my crying eyes to stare.
My emotions are loosing control.
Nothing to embrace my soul.
We stole each others hearts.
But end up giving it right back.
Grasp the concept
I think not.
Even when you are miles away.
I can still feel you in my bed.
Now I have to find a way to make it without you.
Have you ever slept with a broken heart?
Try sleeping in my bed.
Just got to let go.
Lonely
Trying to hold on a broken dream and my sanity.

0 comments:

A Woman's Ego, A Woman's Threat

Wednesday, July 17, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I am here so un-afraid.
Not even worried what others might say.
Even with the mistakes I made.
Not concerned with yesterday.
So in a way.
I can just enjoy today.
If you get a second.
Pray for these females in the world.
They are so lonely.
But now it is in reverse.
Like psychology.
All the tough talk.
I will let it go.
Do not lose your love
Because of a woman's ego.
I do not treat men like objects.
But feels like I am some prize to be won.
I would be lying if I said I did not cry.
But I am woman who admits it.
Maybe there is nothing wrong with those I pick.
Maybe there is something wrong with me.
Or maybe it is something that my mother never taught me
About the opposite sex
Something I can not see.
Maybe I am a little crazy.
You are clueless about how I feel sometimes.
So I want more, maybe.
A woman's ego just wants to be payed attention to.
Emotionally.
Sadly, embarrassed.
A threat of generosity.
Stood by your side.
Without no ounce of doubt.
My ego never got the best of me.
Yours surely did.
That is foolish.
Who am I fooling?
What, am I stupid?
Now I should let that ego take over.

0 comments:

Chasing The Sun

Wednesday, July 17, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Fill up your lungs
And run with it.
How do I find it?
Follow it.
Dare, achieve it.
In private.
I wish you could see me.
Yearning for the affection.
I wish was given to me.
No one needs to see me cryings.
I put on my favorite song.
Daydreaming of dreams undreamt.
Following this fragile heart.
Continue to go on.
Chasing the sun.
Even wen I am standing on edge.
Success and morality.
Life is nothing to be wasted.
Always be chasing the sun.

0 comments:

Imperfections, Tainted Cracks In Miss Perfect

Saturday, July 06, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I am a little irresponsible.
But I keep it to myself.
I am a women of my word
Only when I am not lying.
I am not a hater
But I hate to see you shine.
Only when yours outshine mine.
I want to be faithful and I always have
But I'm unappreciated most of the time.
The image I portray
Makes you believe I have it together.
But if they took the time to look
You can see these tainted cracks in Miss Perfect.
I do a lot of stupid things.
In which no one even notices.
Hoping I never have to pay for it.
I'm a lot to put up with.
Only a select few don't mind.
Accepts me for who I am.
All my flaws and all.
I am not talking about my man
I'm talking about my best friend.
Sometimes I wonder.
Was he the one all along.
He treats me just the same.
Perfection
Is just glorified opinion.
They find the beauty in my cracks.
Not exploit them.
Making me feel less than I am.
I can not hold back anymore.
Imperfections
Makes us perfect.
But only if they can see the cracks in Miss Perfect.
I do not fit your mold.
The cracks is the power I hold.

0 comments:

These Pages, The Pen

Tuesday, July 02, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I confess my sins to the pages of my notebook.
The pen guiding my thoughts
Like a second verse or musical hook.
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.
Taking risks and trying new things.
Pages upon pages.
The fluidity of the wet ink rages.
Nights spent burning stray thoughts.
Like paper mache' stretched tight across my skin,
The ballpoint pen acting like my heart.
Through soulless eyes.
Full of the pages with pale lines.
I write each and every line.
Painting my words using expression from my mind.
Metaphors are my distant colors.
Like a gentle brush
Each and every rhyme is my medium.
What's in my head is not what it seems to be
Until it is placed on these pages with my own pen.

0 comments:

Careful Confessions

Monday, July 01, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

A level of sophistication, maturity, and complexity.
Far beyond the usual run-of-the-mill.
Between the lines.
Once upon another time.
If there's nothing I need
Until I'm told that I can't.
Wearing the heart on my sleeve.
I see nothing today.
I rather sleep my whole life away.
To keep me from dreaming.
I don't care about society's fairytale.
Waiting on the next best thing.
Sometimes this life is nothing but a curse.
Just living it is all I can do first.
The colors of the raindrops
Fool proof to jumpstart the kaleidoscope heart.
Sometime I come undone.
Get where I started from.
There is something in the distant shadows.
Something like a machine gun.
Surrounded by the strange silhouette.
Throwing punches out into the blackness.
If I am told lie, I don't care.
I just want something good back.
I don't want to be alone.
So don't let the sky go.
I'm well versed.
But somehow I may be cursed.
I don't need it articulated, locked, and loaded.
Proud and fearless.
Nothing no one told me.
Somehow I need to protect myself.
Thought of the mellow dramatica.
Living through claustrophobia.
The larger range of space considered to be near.
Enclosed spaced.
Practically needing to float away to another place.
Raw truth with no kind of fortress.
Enthusiastically.
Say what you want to say.
Let all my words fall out.
Caring may be cursed.
Falling for the fear.
Possibly wanting to disappear.
But no, this is just how I feel.

0 comments:

As A Broken Doll, Odds And Ends

Sunday, June 30, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

You won't break my heart.
I would have to break it first.
Heart moving fasting.
Such a beautiful disaster.
In this skin
So breakable
These old wings
Burn these strings
These old things.
Life a tight rope
And these burdens
Only apart of who I am.
No remote.
To tell me I'm beautiful.
Fragile I am.
Like a broken porcelain doll.
Odds and ends,
No one to believe in.
My life knocks on my door.
Throwing stones at my window.
At 4 in the morning.
And maybe it won't suck as much.
Walk away.
But slithers like a viper.
And gets me in the neck.
The thousand ways I try to forget.
I pretty much suffered in lightness and darkness.
Trying to suck the pain right out.
So many reasons.
I'm surely no like the rest.
In all due time, I hope to forget.
My heart checks me in.
Society kicks me down.
And chews you up and spits you out.
Messing with my sanity
By twisting all these thoughts around.
Sometimes it's blind.
Sometimes it waits.
But everytime it seeks my fate.
Pleasure without pain.
The odds and ends
My soul you'll never claim.

0 comments:

Gratitude

Saturday, June 29, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

It's so surreal.
How you make me feel.
Like a gentle breeze.
Roses and Jasmines
Spread your wings
And fly away.
Gratitude
From me to you.
Let me express that to you.
Heartbeat increased.
When we meet.
Putting a smile upon my face.
Being a part of you inner space.
Life is too short.
No time to waste.
Doing exactly what you can.
Always ready to led a hand.
So thankful.
So admirable.
You understand.
You cried my tears.
Vulnerable but you listen.
Disappointment at myself.
Subtle circumstances.
But you were there.
Reaching out to me in ways I never expected
Feeling loved like never before.
You still try to rescue me.
That's why I show my gratitude.

0 comments:

Second Best

Sunday, June 23, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Everyday I feel like I'm second best.
In your life behind all the rest.
There is so many times I tried.
Now it is time to go away and hide.
Because I'm ignored.
That's nothing new.
If I call or text, it means I need you.
Yes again, everyone says they need me too,
I don't run to them.
I run to you.
But when they need you.
You run to them.
So I have someone new.
Just a friend who needs me too.
But I still feel second best.
I just want to be someone priorities.

0 comments:

Disconnect

Saturday, June 22, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Is this all life is then?
Only shallow breathes
Why the struggle for?
The world makes no sense.
Air is everywhere.
Filling the room as if in a trance.
Like two negatives
Or two positives.
It does it match
Nor does it attract
My soul on a piece of paper.
In a puddle of words.
Cliche' it may be.
I feel a disconnect
Something I cant get back
A crosswalk cut short
Between life or death and in-between.
Society treats me.
With drops of indifference.
Like a wild boar chased by bullets
In a quiet forest contemplating.
Walking barefeet in the sand.
Feeling the cold body of the hand
Nobody notices.
How beautifully it does not show.
Between me and the other world.
The world and the society we live in.
Slowly a subtle disconnect
In the damaged word we live in.

0 comments:

Right Here All Along

Friday, June 21, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

You are my opposite.
Looking back at me.
Figuring it all out.
But you've been here all along.
Never seemed to noticed
But you never left. 
I see my dreams in you. 
Something I'm just realizing too.
Wished I known before
You protect my vulnerability to the core.
When you did come back. 
It was easy.
But hard to admit it. 
I'm not innocent. 
Far from it. 
And you are good for me.
Sometimes you make me strong rather than weak. 
I genuinely love you. 
Even if I marry the one I'm meant to be with. 
You have always been here all along. 
You never left in the first place. 

0 comments:

Happiness Deserved?

Monday, June 17, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I always hear I'm sorry. 
Everyone always care. 
Don't I deserve to be happy?
My shell suddenly rewrapping. 
Nothing to do but settle. 
I'm on my own with this
Apparently I'm born for this. 
When there's hope. 
Misery comes crawling. 
Struggling between who I am
And who I'm trying to be. 
No one really knows me. 
Everyone lives like the last song you will ever sing. 
I'm whole but incomplete. 
Can I feel the pressure. 
Obviously not.
I don't let things go
I forgive but never forget. 
I do suppress it. 
So it doesn't get in the way. 
All the words I can possibly say
Means as much as the actions it display. 
The shell of me appears to be happy. 
My soul is lacking.  
I see what I want
The truth facing front. 
Intellectually speaking tongue. 
Find me and embrace it. 
Happiness I'm hopping for.  

0 comments:

Snap Back

Sunday, June 16, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I try to run away to a safe place I can not find.
I want to snap back and say. 
Emotional boundaries caught
In a web if foreplay. 
Just back off. 
No more Miss nice girl. 
No more being in the clouds and going soft. 
Living it out. 
My fingertips reaching burning hot. 
Don't come to me with the vulnerability. 
I am nowhere near in pure stability. 
Remember the feeling. 
Remember the day. 
My stone heart constantly breaking.
The love ran away. 
I chew on hope. 
And spit out its sanity. 
That's sin against humanity. 
Body eager. 
Turn around and snap back. 
Think I'm plain and stupid. 
I will drop you just like that. 
So don't toy with me. 
Utter depleting emotions you see. 
Because I will snap back. 
I am nobody else!  

0 comments:

Why I Care So Much?

Friday, June 14, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I love him.
You love her.
So neglecting.
Drawn together by the loneliness.
Not seeing what a wonderful person you are.
Aiming for our hearts.
Like a bullet first from a 50 caliber rifle.
Constantly played.
She claims she loves you.
And I know you do.
He claims he loves me
Nothing but neglecting, arguing, and immaturity.
Sometimes I don't get an "I miss you"
Look at it this way.
Somehow, you mean more to me than I claim.
Love making us crazy and insane.
Why do I care so much?
Maybe I don't think its a good idea.
To love someone who will leave you all alone.
Comfort needed.
Emotional self-destruction setting the tone.
We may not be meant for each other.
But I know I can treat you better.
As a lover and friend.
A bond we can not break.
A genuine concern for our well being.
It's wrong, but you catch me before I hit rock bottom.
Just so you know.
Life got us stuck in one place.
Trying to get away.
Somehow you are always there.
I always put the world in my hands.
No matter how hard we try.
Our heart wants what the heart wants.
Even though mine is torn.
Wondering why I care so much.
We can't hold on.
But I can smile every time.
You cross my mind sometimes.
Get me wondering
Why I gave up the first time.

0 comments:

Subtle Pressures and Drastic Decisions

Monday, June 10, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Tell me where I went wrong. 
Life is like a bad repeat of a song. 
Subtle but durable
Wallowing in my own emptiness.
My emotions pure and simple. 
No one is truly there to listen. 
I could care less about this life
But willing to help a hand without a price. 
I do want to press reset. 
That's a simple test. 
I can't necessarily press reboot
That is a borderline mess. 
I can fast forward
To the dreams I can move towards
But it seems to backfire
Or possible self destruct like a short circuited telephone wire. 
There are 7 billion people on this planet I have not met. 
Or have the chance to meet whether I want to or not.
195 countries I have not visited yet. 
That is something I need to sort out. 
Yet I'm stuck in this insignificant town
Being pressures into making decisions about my future. 
When I barely know who I am or to be found. 

0 comments:

Mirror Image

Friday, May 31, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I swear.
It is like you know me.
Better than I know myself.
When I look in the mirror alone.
All I see is a little girl.
Unfamiliar to me.
This girl wears a mask
To hide who she truly is inside.
A fake smile.
To hide the sorrow.
When you are there
It is like a force drawn.
Same tastes.
Same kid of hate.
Musical intellectuals
We know who and want we want.
Yet we go for something
More complicated.
Only we understand it.
Its like a record hit.
I don't literally see you as my mirror image.
I see the emotion that is beneath it.
I see the personality underneath it.
Similar yet different.
Something that doesn't linger.
Our friendship will never hinder.
They wont know what we see.
What we have been through.
Only you know me, in a way.
You are like my mirror image.
Tainted by an amazing friendship.
And a deadly attraction.

0 comments:

Fatal Attraction

Friday, May 31, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Looking deep within mu soul
This deadly attraction is making it hard to behold.
As much as I fought for appreciation.
My hormones are out of control.
I am many souls of the past.
Solutions aren't within my grasp.
Close friends we are.
I am drawn to you.
Out chemistry between us
Is insanely intense.
Vulnerable we are.
Te energy between us is so real.
Heat felt, passion flow.
The neglect of my man
Making every deadly sin come into play.
It may be wrong
But somehow feels right.
I can dream all I want.
I won't lie nor front.
Closely entwined.
I can barely look you in the eyes.
The attention I deserve from my man,
Is what I'm not getting anyway.
You left before.
Me not knowing
Now you are here, I can't loose you again.
But now I cling to you a little more.
So that is not good regardless.
A force like that can not be broken.
You give that much to me without even trying.
But I'm literally dying.
Tearing apart deep within my soul.
Having two things at once makes me live.
This fatal attraction we have
Makes me live and forget a little.

0 comments:

How To Smile

Monday, May 27, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I don't know how
To even smile
Everytime I try
I always get let down

Never knew a place
To call my own
Feel so alone
Don't want to come back home.

Try to be a
Superwoman
Try to be a
Extraordinary

So overly crowded
Never any space
Need to find my place
A world without hate,

I put on a mask
To cover up the distraught fast
To keep myself somewhat enlightened
Still, I can't even truly smile.

0 comments:

If I Only Had That Chance

Saturday, May 25, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

He had always had my attention.
Since way back when
Middle school and so on.
Many not realizing
How special he truly was.
Treating him like he was irrelevant
Though I know thats not true.

I know he's the kind of guy
When he finds love
He gives the world.
But he gave me the title as friend
Now its way to late.
He found love
And so have I
So it doesn't even matter
How we're attracted to each other anymore.

We call and text all the time
Even in my relationship
I like him so I never mind.
He's in love with her
I try to help him so.
All I want is one thing
To see him happy and in love.
We have a little history
Nothing but a small thing though.
Best friend we will stay though.
Even though, you could say
That is not right to the man I love ever-so.

We choose to shake it off
Amused by the way he talks
The words that i speak are real.
I kid, and joke a bit
But if only I had the change
Way back before.
But it is a-ok now

0 comments:

Giving Up

Friday, May 24, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Sometimes I just want to give up but I can't.
Some days I just have to let out a d rant. 
All I want to do is forget. 
Time in.
Time out. 
I can't say what I want. 
All day.
Everyday.
Got to sit and explain. 
The way life is going right now. 
Somehow, got to keep my head on straight. 
Mess ups. 
Two-timing utter mistakes. 
I can't change what happened back then. 
Rant out.
Scream out. 
All I want to do is shout!
Frustrations
Stressed out. 
Let it go. 
Put it out. 
Something tells me.
What is the freaking point? 
Wondering
Pondering
Trying to let the groove begin
Obstacles standing in front of me.
A brick wall of emotion in front of me. 
I just want to give up
I just want to give it. 
My heart tells me I can't
My body tells me I shouldn't. 
But my mind is in all sorts of distortion
Beginning to loose my footing
I guess I will continue to go. 
Even when it all disrupts my flow. 

0 comments:

Feelings Known Too Well, Out In The Open

Thursday, May 16, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Things about me are so different
But has never changed,
I have always been the same way
Something no one seems to understand.

Incomplete
Neglected
And alone
Feelings I know all too well.
The love of the unknown
Who I am, out in the open.

I give in to the love of my life
Ignored while being alive
Unappreciated, though he doesn't know.
Now it's all so-so.

Another attraction, somewhat dormant
Released out of nowhere
Caring ever-so-much
What to do?
I have no possible clue
All I can do
Go with the flow and follow the mind clues.

I'm not a freak
Or someone who constantly seeks
Cherished memories
Shattered dreams
Nothing is better than a tarnish heart or so it seems

I let go with another person
While the love of my dreams complete ignores me
Been through way too much
Somehow a total mind break

Not too many people know me.
Some think they do
You all aren't mind readers
Impossible to try unless I told you.

I know I don't deserve to be happy
But I live the life of mine
Keeping my dedications
Reading it loud and clear.


Incomplete
Neglected
And alone
Feelings I know all too well.
The love of the unknown
Who I am, out in the open.




0 comments:

Pisces Rising

Wednesday, May 15, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

From R&B music to bebop.
To funk to fusion
From semi-charmed life to reggae
To subtle rock and roll.

I stay cool under pressure
When others may pop.
I'm ruled by the misconstrued life of the sky.
Consider me shy but I aim high.
Never unpredictable.
Never out of step.
Ahead of my time.
Built on intellect.
Sucker for being different.
Anything breaking new ground.

A story of a Pisces rising.
No so surprising
Fascinated by the future unknown.
Experimental, in my zone.
Impatient with people who couldn't care less.
Creativity by nature.
I rock amethysts.

Lover of art and harmony.
Swimming through the flow of life.
Heart in constant strive.
From the bottom to the top.

Being pulled into two directions.
Rocking the heart, open-minded.
Business type, far from cutthroat.
Not throwing myself to the world.
Just the chance to express myself.
Imagination, pressed upon oneself.
Attainment to humanity
Insight and creativity to keep my sanity.

A story of a Pisces rising
Not so surprising
Touched by human suffering.
Sensitive to others.  

0 comments:

Continuos Mending and Re-mending of A Tainted Heart

Tuesday, May 14, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I try not too
But I always smile and laugh on the outside
Completely different on the inside
This heart of mine
Which has been shattered and broken way too many times.
Picked up the millions of pieces
Glue it together
With clear, quick-dry super glue.
Sewn together with thread and leather.
Then held in place with colored duck tape
Wrapped around several times to keep in place
Wear and tears slowly
As I continue with this life of mine.

No purpose in mind
Just out to satisfy and please others
With no thought of wanting
Anything in return
I care to tend to other people's feelings
Before handling my own dealings.
My so-called happiness I rarely even seek.
Forgiving is by nature
Generosity, no hatred.
No second thought on my mind
No ounce of regret.
Whether society deserves it or not.
I treat everyone all the same.
I'm satisfied
When I put myself out there
And help everyone else.

Even when everyone thinks differently
Pass judgement, so senseless.
Stick up for what I believe in
Even if it costs me my own life.
Sometimes, that is how it is.
It is a continuos rotation
Heart peeling
and re-mending
As I satisfy the needs of others.

0 comments:

Unappreciated

Tuesday, May 14, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I don't expect to many things out of life.
Because everything has its own price.
We have been together for way to long.
But I feel more like the words in a song.

We barely see each other
Its not our fault
But once we get on the phone.
Everything comes to a halt.

The ignorance of your sarcasm.
You made a promise
Not to leave me all alone
Thats how I feel when I'm home.

I never hear the words "beautiful" com out your mouth.
All the morals of what I need and want have gone south.
Am I meant not to really be too happy?
I've gave it time, so why?

I never feel like I am a first priority
Hardly ever
I'm normall second, third, or even sometimes fourth.
I feel like I'm the last person you think about even when you say I'm all you think about.

I'm like the petals of a poor bouquet
You keep giving me promises of what you can buy me.
I do't need you to buy me all the things in the world you see.
All I need and want is you.

My walls are beginning to crumple down.
I'm not stopping them this time.
But nobody appreciates
How hard I try to keep them up.

These days all you want is the same thing.
Sex when i finally see and not the little things.
Remember me telling you I enjoyed the little things?
Now you are always tired, you can't even stay up with me anymore.

You keep on saying you have done so much for me
All you did was buy my love more than anything.
 have always blamed myself for everything that goes wrong.
Like another sad love song.

I haven't given up.
I love you way more than life itself.
Sometimes I don't even get a thank you.
Or to just spend more precious time rather always in your house.

My dreams and interests always sucks in your eyes.
Sometimes I just want us to walk and enjoy the nice weather
But we argue, in which you seems as though its nothing
But it means more to me than just nothing.

You are missing the passion that I have for you.
You don't even compliment me
Nothing but criticizing that isn't even constructive.
When will you finally understand me?

I know you will never cheat on me
Or even leave me.
But more and more
I feel unappreciated by the things you do.

0 comments:

After Midnight

Sunday, May 12, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

The thoughts starts pouring in. 
Nothing I can do. Nothing I can say. 
I'm sitting here wondering.
Getting way to comfortable. 
There's no place to blame. 
There's no one else. 
A semi code of conduct. 
Helping others rather than myself. 
Brings me a little peace. 
But also loneliness. 
You would think. 
With the man I have.
I wouldn't be. 
Sometimes I wonder. 
If I am even thought of. 
I just keep it all together.
Red eyes.
Forcing myself not to cry. 
It must be fun. 
To have someone to count on. 
To not lay down alone. 
I just find myself always moving. 
To keep my mind off these subtle things.
He did make a promise to me. 
Not to leave me this way. 
Another emotional breakdown. 
Nothing but my own sound. 
I guess that's how it is supposed to be. 
I don't even seek anything. 
Just to get rid if these pathetic, lonely thoughts sometimes. 

0 comments:

Fall Into Place

Friday, May 10, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I wish things could fall into place
Somehow it always comes to me into broken pieces.
It's a kind-of sleepwalk
That never ends.
I can't escape
Or so it seems.
I'm well aware
Shards and pieces dormant in my dreams.
My nightmare
Seems like I'm falling
Nobody to catch me.
Messed up
In this fake crazy world
Thoughts that chase me
Thundering and lightening
Rain dripping on the window pane.
Lonely
I'm breaking down.
Two, Three times I cry
Things that never seem to die.
Half sleep
Trying to wake up.
Shards piercing my soul
Try to understand
Constant wondering
My nightmare
Unforgiven
I'm just driven
Even with these shards
Cutting through my weak veins
I'm kept together.
Even when it doesn't fall into place.


0 comments:

Enjoy: Ink It! Acknowledge It! Restore It!

Tuesday, May 07, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

What is life for?
Is it for you?
Reach out.
Seize the day.
Settle for more.
But for no one.
Get of the beaten path.
Make the time.
For what you love.
Let it all align.
Relish the joys of living.
And interestingly by giving.
Look for the good.
And you'll find it
Open your arms.
Take it all in.
Even put on a subtle grin.
Life is the ground adventure.
Any life worth living
Is worth recording
Don't think about it.
Ink it!

Reassure myself.
When I'm overwhelmed
Completely normal.
Insanity.
The only difference
Between me and the rest of the population.
I acknowledge it!
They are in mind-blowing denial.

In dreams
There are no impossibilities .
Capture new ideas.
Encouraging you to press on.
Regardless.
Expand on those magical callings
Senseless.
Giving yourself wings.
Hope
Wish
Dream
Restore it!

0 comments:

Struggle of Creative Block; Breakthrough!

Tuesday, May 07, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

All of us struggle.
At one time or another.
With creative block.
The subtle tick-tock of the clock.

It inevitably striking.
At the worse possible moment.
Leaving you paralyzed.
Somewhat inept.

Take solace in knowing.
That no one is alone.
It happens to all of us.
It sets on an intellectual tone.

It is an unavoidable part
Of the creative process.
Breakthrough!
Thinking of lively compilation of strategies.

Every block is different
Interesting solutions and possibilities.
Mind of interest
At times weird, but inspiring.

Breakthrough!
A rocket fuel
For the creative side.
In need of catalyst.
Just to get the ideas flowing again.

0 comments:

Safety Net of Life and Frustration

Tuesday, May 07, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Run from the conflict
Into something
Too good to be true
When It collapses
When the load baring walls
Crumple under the weight of lies

Will the safety net
Of comfort
Still be as strong as you left it

Will it wither away?
Or live on the edge
Give no care
Stand at the precipice
and stare dead
Into the abyss!

0 comments:

9:01am

Sunday, May 05, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

All you can do in life is try your best.
Always greater than, not less than.
All a constant ten.
Let it all come to a full blend.

Our life has constant trials.
No more wasting time.
Always pushing forward.
Never backwards.

Currently it's 9:01am.
Close to 10 but not yet.
En route to where I'm going.
As my music plays my favorite song.

Living in the moment.
No turning back.
You and me, no regrets.
Everyone else, irrelevant.

0 comments:

If Only

Wednesday, May 01, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

That the best part of my life is you and me
You and I are a perfect plan
There are some things I can't withstand
So much we have went through
Not a day goes that I'm constantly thinking of you.
Making time stand still
Things we can't explain
I believe in you
I trust in you

 If only, you listen
To these random thoughts I propose to you
The loving musing of or future life too.
I still feel alone
Like you are there, but not there at the same time.

 I want us a true couple
Someone others look up to
No lies
Nothing to feel ashamed of
But sometimes you pay me no mind
Sometimes I am more of a girl
Than the love of your life.
I need to know if I am your future or not
If so, then show me every time
Not most of the time.

If only, you make the effort.
I don't need expensive gifts
I just need you.
Only you
I want to take this relationship further
I don't need any of your criticisms
I just want and need your love.

We still don't see each other as we should
I'm becoming vulnerable like no one would
Sometimes crying inside needing you hear
But you are normally at work or to sleep.
If only you keep me company
Even at 4 in the morning
Its shows more of an effort 
Instead of you buying me things.
I don't need it.
All I need is you
Because I love you.

0 comments:

Flirtatious

Tuesday, April 30, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Its likes a game.
Sometimes you win
Sometimes you lose
But it is all the same

It is made to be innocent
You don't necessarily want someone
It can just b all fun and games
As long as you don't get hurt at the end.

Thee days it is with your best friends
Of the opposite sex.
Doesn't mean something is bound to happen
It is just a game.

Its not an attention seeker
Though some think it is
But it is a sin when you are married
Bu it is all the same

Bring your top game
Nothing is bound to happen
Supposedly a new fun way of hanging out
But at the end, its not my kind of game.

0 comments:

A Deadly Sin, One-Way independence

Monday, April 29, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I claim my independence
I've been sheltered throughout my childhood.
That makes my life more relevant
If only I could...

Power is not what  I crave
Respect is what i want
No clowning
I don't need superpowers

Saving ones energy
To let it go to waste
I am my own temple
But sometimes I want a little taste

Nothing to harsh
Taking my own pleasure
Having my own fun
Somewhat a deadly sin.

I grew up from the innocent one
Being teased and criticized
I won't shut you down
But I will clearly shut you own

I aim for my own success
Trying to claim it
Eve if I create a sin
No consequences is caused.

0 comments:

Ante Meridian

Sunday, April 28, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Before noon
In the morning
Ultra cool
So bring on the noise
Waking up like clockwork
Hashtag, only hard work
Eyes temporarily peripheral
Central point to the work
Is like a subtle design
It's humanity!

I live through and around it
Day by day
Where my routines are hijacked
Irrelevancy of where I lay
Fast or cooked breakfast
Need to be out in a dash
Dress like a lady, not as trash
Point taken, a lovely morning it is

I'm watching the clock
It time to go out
Enjoy all parts of the day
Even though it is still ante meridian

0 comments:

Black

Saturday, April 27, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

It is an absence of color.
A hole full of nothing
Nothing bright
Nothing dark
Something simple
Somewhat falling apart
Matches with everything
Counted multiple rings
Cover up old wounds
Creating brand new ones
No mater the bad
No matter the good
Something to wear
Along with a hood
Part of a culture
Even a single ethnicity
Cliche in numbers
Question marks I wonder
It's all of everything
As well as none of nothing.
A subtle goodbye.
Lost in translation of a simple "hi".

0 comments:

The Incredible Dishonesty

Friday, April 26, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I'm not different from the rest
No need to impress
But sometimes I fall short
To all the musings of the incredible dishonesty

Let me be taken
As far as it can go
Turn int he white flags
and don't give in.

Society
Full of utter dishonesty
Nothing to be trusted
Or even to go on, if I say so

No one to listen
No one to hear me scream
The incredible society
Of nothing but deadly sins, so it seems

Lies and more lies
Nothing is ever the truth
The cotton coated candy
May taste too sweet for a while
But turns sour after some time.
Nothing but an incredible dishonesty
Society's best kept secret.

0 comments:

Boredom, A Wate of Time

Thursday, April 25, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Sitting here with nothing to do.
I have nothing to loose
But why so many people waste my time
Save so I can enjoy my life

Ambition, day in and day out
Rambling beats through my head.
Having all sorts of doubts
Tell me, why am I here?

Again, why is my time being wasted?
Life is too short
I don't always need to have fun
But need a continuos learning experience

Lose of attention
No kind of focus
Need some affirmative action
Opportunities, aimlessly

I'm bored out of time
More and more time being wasted
So set me free
Or make some of my time useful again.

0 comments:

Go, I Need A Destination

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

When I'm satisfied
I get plenty full
But when I'm low
I'm pretty pitiful

Life makes me dizzy
Way worse than vertigo
I jut have to go.
I need a destination
because I feel like I'm loosing control

Be my inspiration
My motivation
Somewhat falling apart.
So I need you here and now.

Why, oh why
I should be hesitant
but its looking more of an testament
One lease on life

Come catch me
I want to lash out
This life of mine is closing on me
Making it all hot and dizzy like!

I need to go somewhere
A simple destination
Somewhat unfamiliar to me
But I don't want nothing to change the life for me.

0 comments:

Failure, The Constant Case of Melancholy

Tuesday, April 23, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I'm tired of my failure.
The every non-forgiving emotional anchors.
Badgering from others
Its not making me any tougher

Claiming that hard work pays off
But that is nothing more than a mere write-off.
Feeling unloved and unappreciated
Did I do something wrong to you?

Everyday working for the common people
Nothing more than a different form of paid slavery
Somehow I'm always willing and able.
But it is starting to make me totally angry

Trying to find my life
Live it the best way I can
Find a job that can help my dreams alive
But nothing but utter disappointments and failures.

Tell me why these things happen.
With so many interviews.
No success of landing.
I don't know anymore, full of fumes.

Tell me, why am I here?
Body crossings, utter exhaustion
Failures put me into to tears.
Constant case of melancholy.


0 comments:

Mr. Right

Monday, April 22, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

*Inspired by Ne-yo's - Miss Right

Hello and good evening
I normal come here to shut the world out
Nothing to really get into
Nothing to be about.
Just a simple bite and have a quiet good night.
By no means I wasn't looking for Mr. Right

Clearly he was there in the classroom with his boys.
No so alone but handsome with no defects on.
This made me think about the future someday
But first i'll try to say hello
and Good evening

Mr. Right
What were you doing here.
I surely wasn't expecting you at all tonight.
How about we disappear
Come to my room
If you have the time
Come and be the rest of my life.

Isn't this amazing
Spent forever looking
A lot of time wasting
As soon as I give in and quit
There my future sits
I never that could happen
But I gave it one more try
For you to be my Mr. Right
Finally, you became the rest of my life.

0 comments:

Story Of My Life

Sunday, April 21, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Finding yourself involves sacrifice
but also a great deal of understanding story of my life.
Something to never think twice
I think I developed it something wise.

 Modest in speech
but exceeds in actions
Something I need not to preach
Always pretty tactful.

 My glasses
Somewhat un-relavent
Hardworking
Sometimes overworked
Never stopped searching
For my prominent success
My life is a constant test
Something I too, don't understand

 I'm called weird
Simply because laugh often
My dreams big and not locked away in a coffin
Because actions speak louder than words

 I believe what I see
and forget what i hear
I am who I am
Because, in all honesty, you can't stop me or my dreams

 Thats the story of my life
Constantly ever moving
Two timing ridiculed
But God didn't make it easy.

0 comments:

And Our Love Continues

Saturday, April 20, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

We're still young
Some words still left unsung
We're enjoying the life given
As a couple, no one is hidden

Passion, love, and common place
Love us because we do not hate
There's no pressure
Our journey is life lessons

Together since college years
Started as encompassing little fears
Being with someone so dear
My decision are ever so clear

Every year enters a new phase.
Our love constantly grows, never fail
Filled with meaningless arguments and last minute things
I love you way more now than I ever did
You bring out the very best if me.
And our love continues
Forever more.

0 comments:

No Days Off

Friday, April 19, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Ten time fold
Someone to hold
As I think to myself
As everyone else need constant

Phone rings
Should I answer?
Or maybe somewhat
Cannibalizing

From the 215 to the 610.
Traveling distances to another area code
4 days a week
Even in the rain, sun, sleet.

Even with work in the morning
And graduate school in the evening
Nothing stops me
There are no days off you see

Everyday with a notebook and pen
My bag and my things
I speak my own words
I keep it moving

I take no days off
Unless nature forces me to
That has nothing to do with any of you
I'm following what's best for me.

0 comments:

Harmonize

Thursday, April 18, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

A new song pops up in my head.
Vocalizing in words that can not be said.
So faithful, so true.
Written as I look at the lit moon.

Intricate melodies
In perfect harmony.
Those sweet chords.
In in my own world.

The rhythm beating in my heart.
Just like the notes on a musical scale.
All the way from C to B.
original, a truthful tale.

0 comments:

Swing Phi Love

Wednesday, April 17, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

It started back in 69
Oh how time flies
The bond that ties
That's no lie

Women of true sisterhood
Me and my LS's still very new
The love for this organization is so true
Nothing will ever make me change otherwise

Hardworking
Daring to be different
Never changing, always evolving
Never ending problem solving

Oh how I love being a Swing
Even with my daily ranting
My sisters are still with me
Lovingly always, forever free

It started back in 69
Taking inspiration from our loving founders
The white and black bond never dies.
Oh how I love Swing Phi.

0 comments:

Frankly, My Dear

Tuesday, April 16, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

You send me messages in the morning.
As you are off to work.
With a soul glow
I didn't know you were that way
A jerk in a way
But frankly my dear
I don't give a damn
Something you won't know in the morning
Won't hurt in the evening
Still I love you
But you sure have time
And right now I can't have your time
I should be hesitant
And use my common sense
I should be your shoulders as you lay your head
I'm for real
I can't deal no more
You are still my core
Trust you are the only place I rather be
But sometimes you may not be the same way I feel.
But frankly now I just don't give a damn.

0 comments:

Cherry Blossom Festival

Monday, April 15, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

The opening ceremony
Intricate guest speakers
Surrounding by the beauty
My eyes utterly speechless

Surround my thousands of Cherry Blossoms
Pink and in bloom
Togetherness of culture
Like a scentless perfume

The festival of drum and dance
Beauty and aroma
Flips and stance
Entertainment, expressing the appreciation of life.

Japanese Arts and culture
Under cherry blossoms
Full of spectacular sights
Somethings that totally excites

History of Japan and Philadelphia
All along Fairmont Park
What a beautiful sight
Blossoms of a signature and trademark

Music playing everywhere
Hundreds of cosplayers
Harajuku fashion show
Loving every single minute of it though

Right next to the Shofuso Japanese House.
Beauty ad nothing more
Souvenirs and a tour
Right next to a rocking rock band.

Another day, another minute
In season, these Cherry Blossoms
Such beauty
Way beyond a day at a Japanese festival.


0 comments:

Obey? Break These Chains!

Sunday, April 14, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I do foresee a problem
I'm not your object to be won
And here I am, and my disclaimer
The truth underneath the sun.

I have followed rules my entire life
Tired of trying
Obey?
I won't regret the changed moment

Obey?
You tell me to stay in my place.
Well, I'm meant to be out of place
Out of sight and out of mine

All that remains
To finally break these chains
I couldn't withstand it
I had to let them know.

For me to obey again
Like some worthless non-mortal
It is interesting sort-of
These chains now have been broken!

0 comments:

Emotional Lines of Distraught, Don't Patronize Me

Saturday, April 13, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

This has no meter.
No beat.
No style.
No lines that long and linger for the comfort of a smile.
No form to be worth your while.
In some ways, it doesn't rhyme. 

It's imagery lacks depth and imagination.
No, it does not show potential.
It is not “clever” or “good” or “interesting.”

Quit feeding it lies.
Don't Patronize Me.

And if you dare write “nice”
Or “good” one more time in the margins,
I swear I am not .

This isn’t going on anyone’s fridge.
It does not deserve a “super” or an “A+.”
It deserves to die.

Do not be concerned with how I feel.
I’m thinking to myself, “let’s flush this fucker down.”


So as you’re sitting there, kindly, patiently reading
This beer guttural splatter,
Please just be honest.
Who are we kidding?
Stop it.
Don’t patronize me.

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Spoken Word, Don't Destroy My Work

Friday, April 12, 2013 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

To the person reading this poem
To person hovering over this with their eyes and a pen
Waiting to say kind, patient words in response, do me a favor:
Stop it.
Don’t Patronize me.
I did not slave over life with hammer and anvil
Shaping my goals into a masterpiece.
I didn’t paint it onto the ceiling of some church,
Going blind from the pain and the stress.
I didn’t waste any time.

And while I’m writing this,
You can bet I’m not concerned with lambs and troches and Italian terza rima.
No, I’m concerned with how much water is left in my water bottle. 
I'm concerned with my dreams and achieving.
This isn’t a masterpiece.
Who are we kidding?
I just write because I am.
You’re not going to hurt it, and you most certainly aren’t going to hurt me.
Stop it.
Don’t patronize me.

I don't want you to destroy my work.
I don't want you to rip it to shreds with sadistic dominatrix glee.
Tear it apart from margin to margin;
Laugh openly at its crippled, struggling body.
Stab through its sputtering heart with the sharp edge of your pen..
I mark this as your own. 
My release from the world around me.

You don't need to handle this with all the delicacy and surgical precision 
of a butcher in a slaughterhouse
of a Craigslist killer and rapist
of Caligula ripping a baby from his sister’s womb.
Harsh, no!

Touching this is like ripping through my dreams
Jabbing a knife through the soft flesh of my stomach
And gut it like a fish.
Watch it gargle to breathe as letters pour out of the wounds.

You want persona?
I am the speaker.
This is my humpbacked, pulsating blob of a poem.
And you are Jack the Ripper.
You are the sin the the evil is trying to place upon me.
Don't destroy my work.

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