I Am Only Human, Who Happens To Be Black

Thursday, July 23, 2015 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Black women are supposed to be strong.
Full of bravery.
Words that are rooted in racism and slavery.
It seems empowering.
However, it is dehumanizing.
You expect me to be strong.
Never frail or vulnerable.
You forget that I am human.
I am not indestructible.
I am fragile.
With a beating heart on the inside.
I harbor deep feelings.
And can put up an emotional fight.
Do not tell me I am a strong black woman.
Or that I should be.
I am only human.
I am organic.
Strength is in my blood.
And I am strong by genetics and creation.
However, I am stressed.
The breakouts and my heart beating out of my chest.
Look at me, I am not superwoman.
I am asked to do everything.
Draining me dry.
But no support or faith in me of my dreams and what I desire.
But somehow I have to be strong.
Because I am a black woman.
I carry the world on my shoulders.
And always try to be selfless.
While tears flow from my eyes.
I feel like I am weighed down by big boulders.
This is what a strong black woman implies?
I take care of everyone around me.
When I cannot, I am questioned and scolded like a child.
I am told what to do and how to do it.
My choices do not seem to matter.
Unless I am serving someone else.
Race is no issue here.
Humanity, I need a break.
I am only human.
Who happens to be a black woman.


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No Pain, Just Peace

Wednesday, July 22, 2015 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I do not expect anything in return
I need no validation.
I rather see peace and harmony.
Rather than pain and suffering.

I make sacrifices.
To be selfless.
I don't pass judgement.
I don't want the feeling of being loveless.

I am deathly afraid to be alone.
It has become more of a phobia.
So I rather help those around me.
I surround myself and help.

It is my calling and destiny.
I have known what I wanted all along.
It is those simple things that can make me smile.
Something peaceful and serene.

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The Contrast of Dreams and Nightmares

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Sometimes we have dreams and sometimes we have nightmares. Our dreams can sometimes come in the form of nightmares and vise-versa. To an extent we cannot escape from. We fall into the traps that we cannot pursue our ambitions and dreams. However, this conflict is chased away by serenity. However, another conflict arises in an abundance of rage. We acknowledge the haters, but only exist because we acknowledge them. There is a gap between these dreams and nightmares. They can be easily confused. Nightmares we can awaken from scared and shaken. Whatever was scaring us, does not exist in the real world. Our dreams bring us comfort, especially from the real world. However, we cannot escape the real world.

The real world can be a dream sometimes and a nightmare. People with mental illnesses come in varying degrees. It can start from glitches in emotion to down right schizophrenia. That is a complete nightmare. There are so many medications that can mask the symptoms; some are self-inflicted. There is really no fix. Addictions become entangled between a dream and a nightmare. It becomes trapped in a web and fall into awaking nightmare. We never forget who we are though. Self-medication is believed to be the vices of addiction. It can have you bury your heads in the deep sand or live life in a haze. Now, everyone can play the victim. The victim syndrome; it is mighty clever I might add. The time spent complaining and crying we don’t even realize it. There is an onset of different levels.  You can be the manipulator of the actual victim that you can never get past. Our lives has spun in circles and stalled out.


Sometimes we need to allow our inner dreamer to take flight, or we will tumble down into a nightmare. However, are you sure we live in the land of the free? With these problems we live in a waking nightmare that affects some and damage others. Some just want to fall back into a dream and never wake up to reality of what humanity has become.

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