What They Call Perfection, Is Really Not

They call it perfection
Trying to strive and live up to others expectations.
Magazines showing size 0.
Thinking we're bigger than we really are.
Why is body image so important?
It makes a person feel small.
Thin figures and thigh gaps.
That's perfection?
It is like taking a pair of scissors to invisible fat.
Shaving away the imperfections.
Cannot look in the mirror without changing.
Changing the hair and face multiple times to find perfection.
Picking out problem areas.
Cutting them from the body.
Perfection is nonexistent.
From the hip bones, to the collarbone.
Nothing is perfect.
The magazines are photoshopped and airbrushed.
That is what society looks up to.

The Other Side of Me

It is funny how it all came crashing down.
I got you talking to me again.
I have almost self destructed before.
But you saved me from it.
You held my hand.
Guided me through.
Calling me beautiful.
Feeling so magical.
We are both fragile.
Easily broken.
Not yet mended.
Where we used to getting hurt
But we ended up causing each other pain.
You are my whole world.
But I cannot put my determination on hold.
We are both selfish.
We just do not want to feel like we failed.
Loving you is sacred.
I won't stop doing so.
You may have
But you will realize that
I am not the blame.
You have something to do with that too.

Love Behind A Closed Door

I just cannot stop loving you.
It did not take that long for you to.
It has not been long.
And already you are done.
I am screaming.
Yelling
Shouting.
And crying.
Does anyone hear me?
It is heartbreaking.
You are not a bad person.
I would never intentionally do you wrong.
You said how much I did you wrong.
I could have.
But you did things too.
The problem is
I never threw it in anyone's face.
It is not a big deal to me.
You say we were not compatible.
But it is not about that all the time.
It is about love
About trust.
About compassion.
And Being together.
Compromise
You could not compromise with me.
You are too worried about the money.
You say i did not love you like you love me.
There is something you have not realized.
I love you more than life itself.
You worshipped me.
I did not want that.
I am not God.
I just wanted to be accepted.
I changed for others whom wanted me to.
Because it was right.
But I am never happy.

Why Try To Change My Identity?

I've now lost all my motivation.
I love only one person.
But I am the screw up.
I am hurt.
I am torn.
Love is not for me.
It is exhausting and tiring.
I am not accepted.
I will never get over it.
I cannot change anything that I am.
I never lied.
If I am quiet.
I'm looked at as stuck up.
If I speak.
I am looked at as rude.
I lost faith.
I am unworthy.
I am trying to believe.
But I am just lonely.
I do know I gave 110%.
But I know doing that
I will never have love.
Everyday I lay awake.
Everyday I pray and wait.
I am wondering if I am doing it right.
If I am missing something.
If I am not accepted for me and my flaws.
Then I do not have an identity anymore.
Damaged cannot express the words I am feeling.
In love and helpless describes it much better.
Now I can cry.
And possibly self-destruct
I had something to believe in
Not anymore.