I'm Just Human

I'm not beautiful.
I'm not sexy.
I'm not cute not pretty.
I'm just human.
With multiple flaws and very high expectations.
Nothing too series just don't lie to me.
Been through a world wind of emotional pain.
I'm invisible to want society perceives woman.
I am just human.

Destined to be alone and no one to call my own.
It can not all be my fault.
However, I'm not open enough
I will never be good enough.
I can look it up
Ask for help but I can not change my character.
Too many want me to change.
I just want to be loved.
There are days I want to be held.
Something I want to be alone
Day I talk and days I don't
Other times I don't want to be at home.
That is not wrong.
That makes me human.

I'm unlike any other and will sacrifice another.
No one sees it that way.
So much pressure, so much to say.
I am supposed to conform to what others have to say.
Live up to everyone's expectations.
I just want to be me.
I must be wrong and possible destined to be alone.
I'm only me.
I'm just human.

Suffering In Silence

I haven't worn my engagement ring since then.
Since we broke up a year and a half ago.
My emotions have been spiraling out of control.
It is because I still love you and never stopped.
There was no room for anyone else.
I may not want to be a mother.
But it is more important to care for one another.
You say you care about me.
I can tell through our random love making sessions.
However, at the end you call me home slice.
Like I'm not worth it to be a woman.
Like I am some benefit.
Getting engaged and getting married
I love seeing those things.
But what about me.
When will someone enjoy being around me.
Without being judgemental.
I don't need a man, however.
I am fine being alone.
Yet, it does get to me at time.
Because I am unable to share anything special and exciting to someone.
I just suffer in silence.

Saying How I Feel

I want to rant but no one will hear me.
I want to scream and shout but no one will listen
I want to rant and say how I feel, but in not allowed
I'm not allowed to feel stressed or upset
I have no one who will actually listen and not judge
To tell me everything will be ok
To just be loved
I'm
Not struggling to live
I'm struggling to find space
I feel closed it and unaccomplished
I'm feel so limited even as we live free
As I get older, my space gets smaller
So I would have any space 
Just a room alone
I want the happiness all around me
The accomplishments all around me.
I'm happy for me them, but what about me. 
I don't want anyone's happiness
Just my own and someone by my side. 


Hushed

For a while now, my heart has been tearing apart
Eating away at my soul, waiting to scream for help.
The heavy weight on my shoulders
Pushes me on a downward spiral to hell as I enter loneliness
But I keep a straight face
But it dawned on me
I can't feel anymore
I'm holding my breath waiting to be
To be a part of something neat
But I end up crying deep inside
No one can hear me, but can see my face
I want to speak, but I don't know how.
I am told so many things
No one really wants to hear
But it is said
To the point I don't even know my next plan. 
Time was all I needed and lots of it
I'm not given too much time
I always feel pressured and rushed. 
But it doesn't matter, because I am usually hushed.
Hushed by several words said