I speak in song lyrics and love quotes
I'm socially awkward and rather impatient
Waiting in long lines is something not-so good for me.
Don't even think about walking slow in front of me. 
I will rage and walk around.
I rant about everything
From how someone is telling me what to do
To social issues and social change.
Somehow you like that about me.
I'm rather impatient most of the time
And plan everything out to the T
It fits within my OCD
I don't really like people
Nor do I like politics. 
But that is acceptable to you
And I have let you in. 
Checking, 1...2...3...times again and again.
I opened my fragile self to you.
I don't feel the need to always do something to gain my greatest satisfaction 
Because you are my greatest satisfaction
My greatest notification
My humble 140 characters
My 600 x 600 pixel image post.
You are like a song I can not get out.
You know, that favorite song you sing to yourself day in and say out
Even in shower. 
Because you can't help it.
You have and are handling the worst of me
My mental craziness 
Where I'm down one day and excited the next
This is all before getting all of me.
You take care of my mental
And match me psychologically 
You are here
And you there
Not just somewhere
But with me
Even when I'm half sleep
You are there when I could go Insane
And freak the hell out.
Now I don't have to check the door as often
Where I'm second guessing everything. 
And paranoia sets in
I'm more comfortable 
But still fragile and susceptible 
You are now lodged into my bloodstream. 

Viewing Me Face Value

I'm not perfect and I'm not strong on the surface. Why there is such joy of hurting me
And then make utter excuses that it is was my fault to begin with. Why the hell it always had to be my fault. Why can't I be loved with all my faults? I have plenty. For example, my OCD. I challenge it. Rearranging things asymmetrically but then going back to fix it again and again. How about my constant overthinking. The same things repeat in my head over and over. Sleep, move over. That probably won't happen tonight. How about the last one. You said you understand me, that you "got" me. I thought you were the one. I thought you were the one. I thought you were....the one. Support was what I needed and I got none. I must be some damn jackpot. A prize to be won. Then another comes along. Challenging ever thought I have. Asking all sorts of questions in my brain. Rambling and rambling. I almost closed the door and you stuck your foot there telling me to "open the damn door". Is this real? Is this happening to me? You see me face value. This inferiority complex. I'm scared out of my mind and my heart racing trying to understand it all at once. But damn, you came to challenge my heartbreak and make it disappear. I have problems with being happy but you make me smile to the point it hurts. The loneliness doesn't kill me anymore because you step in and take control. I stand on my own two feet but break apart at the seams. Yet you call me beautiful and say you are happy I exist. I want to be under the stars where nothing matters and for a split second, I'm calm. I'm calm where I'm not overthinking too much. And that is when I am with you. You are like that one bright star in the sky. 

The Old Love I No Longer Can Hold, The New I Can Learn to Love

I returned my heart right where you left me
And the engagement ring you gave. 
It's little a bitter, sour taste but so bittersweet. 
However, I can't hold on to it and without words I left it there along with the air I once breathed of you.
Believe it or not, I had to withstand the emotional burden of not being enough
Like a piercing knife through the artery. 
With all honesty, you left my heart battered and bruised 
Squeezing the life it once had and the motivation it once thrived.
I didn't want to be your princess or your queen. I just wanted to be your equal. 
No crown needed.
I have gotten over the emotion pain that lingers from what used to be us.
Most of the time, these things happen 
Like the first menstrual. You never know when it will begin or when it will end but it happens.
Then something does happens.
Someone unexpected and to actually put forth the mental effort 
To call me beautiful when I feel down 
To ease my OCD issues and anxiety
See, what you did is broke me down and send me back
Like traveling back in time to when I was 3 years old
In which I do not have much memory
Except crying and nap time
I cried so hard I went to sleep
And when I awaken, I cried some more.
Now he came along somehow
Or maybe he's been there this whole time.
I don't know.
He takes me to the places you could not
He travels a little over 100 miles to see me.
That's devotion to where he mends what was left of my heart. 
Where the heart meets the fragile soul
And strengthen it with a needle and thread. 
See, I can't explain to you what I'm feeling
Where you couldn't accept, he accepts all
And I mean my crazily impatient, overthinking flaws.
So don't come back to me saying you actually still love me because I do not believe you. 
You miss what used to be us and it is too late. 
I have already forgiven you from the beginning. 
Maybe you will let go one day because I already have for my sake and for someone else to come and take its place.

The Moment

I have shut everyone out since I left
Since everything. I close the door on everyone. Maybe except a few people
You, possible
I am not sure because I know of you
We work, we live, we breathe 
Maybe you understand.
Maybe you don't.
That day, that day, that day.
Though means nothing 
Means actually something
Because I opened up to someone
Maybe I was already completely open
Fragile and already broke
But holding on by a mere thread.
I'm a awkward  and everyone seems to leave
Goes away and disappear
Somehow, you actually talk to me
Surprising because you would run too just like everyone else
Through the hurt and pain
You came over
Outside of the normal routine. 
Even through what we went through separately. 
I somehow found something in you to like
Maybe it was already there. 
And when we kissed
And when we kissed
I felt fear, pain, and heartbreak. 
Maybe it eased out individual pain a little. 
However your lips are like a sweet taste of wine. 
Though exaggerated and being embarrassed
For that moment, I didn't have to think much.
Think about the pain that had been caused to me by others.
The heartbreak
The way I'm overlooked by everyone
The outcast
But it was that moment
The moment I enjoyed.