The Terror of Life and Better Things

Is love really the light of the heart?
Getting rid of the heavy thing.
Wanting all my troubles to go away.
The terror of life and better things.
Wanting to be free.
Free as can be from this pain.
Walking the streets without jealousy.
What is this life selling me now?
Pennies for my thoughts?
Dimes for my stress?
Quarters for my heartbreak?
I guess the emotions coursing through my brain
Want to take all my loose change.
Incense to relax this pain in my chest.
Generations, and we continue to fall.
Listening to my heart.
Cast away the things I once heard.
Hear my soul instead of my words.
My mind in another zone.
If possible, a total diversion.
Anything to get from one day to the next.
Love, another fear.
Falling flat on my face like all the times before.
Nothing to hide.
But I need to run away this time.
These thoughts put tears in my eyes.
Options I thought I had.
And now I choose.
Lonely heart tears me apart.
Earplugs needed to tune it out.
Honest words turn into fables.
Everything now is made up of labels.
So tell me why nothing is right?
My emotions in constant fight?
The terror of life
Emotionally speaking.
Trying to make it and better things.

Letting It Go; Awake With A Brokenheart

Go back in time.
Let go of mine.
This pain of mine.
Piercing through my soul.
Wondering if I get back to
In the cool of the night.
Spellbound by the sight.
Remembering you and me i love so greatly.
So much I really miss.
Longing for your kiss.
Have no choice now to let it all go.
So deep in my soul with care.
As I fix my crying eyes to stare.
My emotions are loosing control.
Nothing to embrace my soul.
We stole each others hearts.
But end up giving it right back.
Grasp the concept
I think not.
Even when you are miles away.
I can still feel you in my bed.
Now I have to find a way to make it without you.
Have you ever slept with a broken heart?
Try sleeping in my bed.
Just got to let go.
Lonely
Trying to hold on a broken dream and my sanity.

A Woman's Ego, A Woman's Threat

I am here so un-afraid.
Not even worried what others might say.
Even with the mistakes I made.
Not concerned with yesterday.
So in a way.
I can just enjoy today.
If you get a second.
Pray for these females in the world.
They are so lonely.
But now it is in reverse.
Like psychology.
All the tough talk.
I will let it go.
Do not lose your love
Because of a woman's ego.
I do not treat men like objects.
But feels like I am some prize to be won.
I would be lying if I said I did not cry.
But I am woman who admits it.
Maybe there is nothing wrong with those I pick.
Maybe there is something wrong with me.
Or maybe it is something that my mother never taught me
About the opposite sex
Something I can not see.
Maybe I am a little crazy.
You are clueless about how I feel sometimes.
So I want more, maybe.
A woman's ego just wants to be payed attention to.
Emotionally.
Sadly, embarrassed.
A threat of generosity.
Stood by your side.
Without no ounce of doubt.
My ego never got the best of me.
Yours surely did.
That is foolish.
Who am I fooling?
What, am I stupid?
Now I should let that ego take over.

Chasing The Sun

Fill up your lungs
And run with it.
How do I find it?
Follow it.
Dare, achieve it.
In private.
I wish you could see me.
Yearning for the affection.
I wish was given to me.
No one needs to see me cryings.
I put on my favorite song.
Daydreaming of dreams undreamt.
Following this fragile heart.
Continue to go on.
Chasing the sun.
Even wen I am standing on edge.
Success and morality.
Life is nothing to be wasted.
Always be chasing the sun.

Imperfections, Tainted Cracks In Miss Perfect

I am a little irresponsible.
But I keep it to myself.
I am a women of my word
Only when I am not lying.
I am not a hater
But I hate to see you shine.
Only when yours outshine mine.
I want to be faithful and I always have
But I'm unappreciated most of the time.
The image I portray
Makes you believe I have it together.
But if they took the time to look
You can see these tainted cracks in Miss Perfect.
I do a lot of stupid things.
In which no one even notices.
Hoping I never have to pay for it.
I'm a lot to put up with.
Only a select few don't mind.
Accepts me for who I am.
All my flaws and all.
I am not talking about my man
I'm talking about my best friend.
Sometimes I wonder.
Was he the one all along.
He treats me just the same.
Perfection
Is just glorified opinion.
They find the beauty in my cracks.
Not exploit them.
Making me feel less than I am.
I can not hold back anymore.
Imperfections
Makes us perfect.
But only if they can see the cracks in Miss Perfect.
I do not fit your mold.
The cracks is the power I hold.

These Pages, The Pen

I confess my sins to the pages of my notebook.
The pen guiding my thoughts
Like a second verse or musical hook.
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.
Taking risks and trying new things.
Pages upon pages.
The fluidity of the wet ink rages.
Nights spent burning stray thoughts.
Like paper mache' stretched tight across my skin,
The ballpoint pen acting like my heart.
Through soulless eyes.
Full of the pages with pale lines.
I write each and every line.
Painting my words using expression from my mind.
Metaphors are my distant colors.
Like a gentle brush
Each and every rhyme is my medium.
What's in my head is not what it seems to be
Until it is placed on these pages with my own pen.

Careful Confessions

A level of sophistication, maturity, and complexity.
Far beyond the usual run-of-the-mill.
Between the lines.
Once upon another time.
If there's nothing I need
Until I'm told that I can't.
Wearing the heart on my sleeve.
I see nothing today.
I rather sleep my whole life away.
To keep me from dreaming.
I don't care about society's fairytale.
Waiting on the next best thing.
Sometimes this life is nothing but a curse.
Just living it is all I can do first.
The colors of the raindrops
Fool proof to jumpstart the kaleidoscope heart.
Sometime I come undone.
Get where I started from.
There is something in the distant shadows.
Something like a machine gun.
Surrounded by the strange silhouette.
Throwing punches out into the blackness.
If I am told lie, I don't care.
I just want something good back.
I don't want to be alone.
So don't let the sky go.
I'm well versed.
But somehow I may be cursed.
I don't need it articulated, locked, and loaded.
Proud and fearless.
Nothing no one told me.
Somehow I need to protect myself.
Thought of the mellow dramatica.
Living through claustrophobia.
The larger range of space considered to be near.
Enclosed spaced.
Practically needing to float away to another place.
Raw truth with no kind of fortress.
Enthusiastically.
Say what you want to say.
Let all my words fall out.
Caring may be cursed.
Falling for the fear.
Possibly wanting to disappear.
But no, this is just how I feel.