Trying Hard Enough
Who are you to tell me I am not trying hard enough
What is the true definition of that?
Is it forcing myself to stay awake every night?
Waking up early every morning?
Even though I walk from one end of the campus to the other
end
It is ok; I am having my heart to lend.
People throw around this sisterhood thing.
What is it anyway?
Someone who listens to you?
Tell you when you are wrong?
Constructive criticism?
Be hard
In order to better one self?
Isn’t that what a best friend is too?
People throw that word around too.
So what I am anti-social.
I don’t choose that on purpose.
I guess that would make me suspect.
A person someone who doesn’t trust.
Change is a working process
And I have been working on that since birth.
But for someone to say I am not trying hard enough
That isn’t not love.
How dare you tell me I am not trying hard enough?
My sleep pattern is all messed up
I am breaking out
Stressing out
Hair shedding out
Yet, in order for me to be deemed as trying hard enough
I probably have to slit my wrist
Letting the blood drip.
Right?
I am trying hard so I can be
Someone people can rely on and trust
Not a shy somebody
Everything I do is the wrong decision.
I am like a rainstorm filled with dark black skies
And haunting rainfalls full of lies.
Is there a silver lining in the clouds?
Because I am constantly fighting with myself again, and
again.
Trying to please others time and time again.
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