Close With You

When I first looked in to your eyes.
My emotions began to fly
Even before you spoke a word
It felt like I knew you by heart.

When I first held you in my arms
It felt like a the suffering can possible end
Even if it didn’t last
That was the moment I wanted to share.

When you first kissed me
I was scared.
Even though it was out of a dare.
I wanted it to be much more.

When I caressed your dark skin
It was like a subtle connection
Even though you told me you do not like me
It was like the sweetest sin.

I will close my eyes
And wish for you to be with me.
Maybe there will be a day.
When you allow me to be close with you.

Not Enough

When I added you to my friends list.
I didn’t think too much of it
I did even realize this
Until it was closer to seeing you.

Then we started talking more
I took it slow
So I waited so you can give me your number.
I still didn’t think too much of it

Days later I finally did
I began liking you
Similar interests
With a mutual attraction

Finally the day came
You met me right there.
I surely felt incredibly lame
But was not attaché to you.

I placed a dare upon you
Just to see what it was like for you to kiss me
I didn’t think I would be attached afterwards
But I got speechless and wanted to leave.

I thought we were getting closer
Even after the kisses
I honestly just wanted you to hold me.
I thought you felt a little something too.

I was dead wrong after you told me.
But I am used to it.
I will still like you.
But I guess being myself will never be enough.

What Is Left Of Me

Sometimes I wonder why I try.
My emotions seem to take the best of me.
I want to hide
But it seems to come out especially when I am close to somebody.

I see you all week and everyday
I become closely more attached to you.
Honestly, you do not feel a thing.
So I am in this alone yet again.

I find myself looking at you
But from a distance
I cannot get too close
Because it would be no point.

Everytime I follow my heart
It end up back firing upon me
Like being apart
It pulls me to the other direction.

I am alone having these feelings for you.
I have to keep them to myself
Yet I continue to break
Upon what is left of me.

Holding On

It is funny how I just want to smile for once
For someone to make me feel like everything is ok.
My worries overcome my heart sometimes
Because I wish this world could be different

Constant stress
Joy and happiness is one all can ask for
But the cycle continues again
Where is the something I am looking for.

When I just want something small to go well for me
Everything else seems to backfire
The only peaceful thing around
Is a lovely shower when no ones around

Take me away
Take me to a faraway place
Where my unexplainable dreams
Can come true.

Dreams of holding a job
Not worring if I will actually finish my education or not
Finding someone I can trust
Or finding that soulmate.

Soulmate?
What is that?
I like 2 guys now.
So how will I deal with that?

Why is there constant problems?
How can I deal?
I am surrounded by lies and lying opportunities.
This is what my heart sees.

I am stuck in a corrupted world
No shine, but I continue to smile
I ahve to to hide it
So no one else can ever worry about me

When things go wrong, normally as they do
I try everything to take care of it
But I have no choice
My dad ends up taking caring of me.

No judgement and no lectures
Just understanding in which I need
I want something that can be mine
Maybe without putting my tears on hold everytime.

The world is full of emotions
I try to hide mine, whatever is left.
Even when I like someone or something happens
All I can do now is just hold on.