Holding On

It is funny how I just want to smile for once
For someone to make me feel like everything is ok.
My worries overcome my heart sometimes
Because I wish this world could be different

Constant stress
Joy and happiness is one all can ask for
But the cycle continues again
Where is the something I am looking for.

When I just want something small to go well for me
Everything else seems to backfire
The only peaceful thing around
Is a lovely shower when no ones around

Take me away
Take me to a faraway place
Where my unexplainable dreams
Can come true.

Dreams of holding a job
Not worring if I will actually finish my education or not
Finding someone I can trust
Or finding that soulmate.

Soulmate?
What is that?
I like 2 guys now.
So how will I deal with that?

Why is there constant problems?
How can I deal?
I am surrounded by lies and lying opportunities.
This is what my heart sees.

I am stuck in a corrupted world
No shine, but I continue to smile
I ahve to to hide it
So no one else can ever worry about me

When things go wrong, normally as they do
I try everything to take care of it
But I have no choice
My dad ends up taking caring of me.

No judgement and no lectures
Just understanding in which I need
I want something that can be mine
Maybe without putting my tears on hold everytime.

The world is full of emotions
I try to hide mine, whatever is left.
Even when I like someone or something happens
All I can do now is just hold on.