Spoken Word: What's Wrong with Me?

Why do I like another so much?

It's like I'm drowning in my own feelings. 

Wondering when the hell am I going to come back down.

What am I doing wrong? 

Why do I crave this need of being loved? 

It's like a big boss battle that is impossible to win and leaves me broken

But I keep coming back in hopes I win. 

I was left so vulnerable that I'm in need of a skin graft to be put back together. 

Like a severe 4th degree burn plaguing my entire body trying to breathe and utter the words of "love"

I don't need the attention though. 

Just for someone to be there. 

To be around

I'm holding myself together

While I do things I normally don't do

With scotch tape and string and Bobby pin

I play around in a department store and no one is looking

I will never fall in love again because it's too painful and frightening 

but I continue to fall to pieces.

But I like you. 

But I'm attracted to you; your personality. 

I adore you. 

I always have but kept it to myself.

I'm fond and content with you for some weird reason I don't even freaking understand 

What is this universe trying to tell me?

Maybe I'm meant to be all alone. 

The man I still love doesn't even want me

Those who do like me only want to have sex and sugarcoat the meaning of admiration and temporaries.

Then there is you. The one who seems to be in sync with my every emotion.

Who has been broken more times than I could imagine

But I feel it.

I understand it

Like a shattered broke glass cutting the veins of what I knew to be happiness.