Going Under

I want to call but cannot dial.
I am feeling like autumn.
I need a change.
My own insecurities.
Making me feel like I was not good enough.
I still profess my love.
Confess all my wrongs.
I cannot sleep.
Need a hot shower.
Hoping it washes the pain away.
Sometimes I wonder if I am loosing my mind.
Called out your name.
But you are not there.
Alone with my fears,
Feel my heart.
All wounds in time heal.
But left with scars.
My words do not mean much.
Up all night.
Sometimes.
I cannot rest my mind.
I am so undone and empty.
I am trying.
But I am tired of these semi-sleepless nights.
Feel my heart.
It is not beating right.
Seems like I am going under.