Hidden in a smile
Still with tears that I cry.
I don't understand this life of mine.
Alone with emotions that I hide.
Why I care about my miserable life?
Is it worth it or is it not?
No special memories of the past.
No recent ones I have.
Just an emtpy soul
Living a lie.
All I do is dream
Hiding behind this smile.
Wondering if my life is worthwhile
Screaming thousand times in a row
Sill, I haven't let go
I cry inside by day.
I cry out by night.
There's no one to save me.
This is so tough for anyone to see.
Mixed messages
Mixed emotions.
Tolerated everything
Yet, I still cry.
Hiding in this everyday smile.
I walk down the hallway.
No one looks
I stand in the doorway.
I am not even worth looking .
I try
Yet, I still cry.
I don't show.
I show no pain.
I show no emotion.
All of it is hidden by my wonderful smile
I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and brown,
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so light and smooth.
I love the way you make me laugh,
And the ways you show me you care,
I love the way you say, "I Love You"
And the way you're always there.
I love the way you call me "beautiful"
Because no one has ever called me that but you
I love the way you call me everyday to show how wonderful you are.
Because you make me feel brand new.
I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine,
I love that you are with me,
And glad forever you are mine.
I am soon to graduate but yet I am in a bit of distraught.
Too much critizism. So many thoughts.
I am tangled in a bunch of lies.
Subsequently, all followed by the ties that bind.
Nothing can prepare me for what I have experienced.
I feel nothing more than extinct.
All the teasing, all the hurt.
No one knows how much I feel like dirt.
I don't exist, I am not there.
You don't see the pain that I bare.
I can't do this, I can't do that.
What can I do if I am where I am at?
Signs of tears, signs of sorrow.
I wish for it all to end tomorrow.
No one sees how much I hurt.
I walk alone, I do it alone.
They critizie on my life, my hopes, and my dreams.
What can I do if I am not worth having a dream to life for.
Tangled in my own thoughts
Tangled in my own mind.
Everything I do, I feel like I could loose my mind.
I try to hard to hide it
Try to hard to confide it.
It is perfectly clear to me.
I am not worth the name
I am worth the time.
That is all I see.
I am nothing.
They took away my pride.
They point
They look
They tease
I can't take it.
Let it all stop
Let it all end.
My tears flow from my eyes.
Quite skies
I look up
See nothing but lies.
I explain in detail.
Too much crizism
Too much pain
All I want is for it to all go away.
I sill live in this world.
I am not noticed.
But they are all in my life.
I just want to be noticed for my talent.
All alone
No turst
Leave it they way it must.
Deep Heart
Nothing to loose.
I just want to be free to live my life.
Be able to life like living art.
This stays hidden.
All in all, I am just a girl lost in her own reality.
Mother, we don’t have any memories. No good times, no fun times, no memorable times. Mother why did you become this way?
Mother, I don’t know you. You blamed everything on my father. Mother, stop! Why did you keep me away from them, my sisters? Mother, I used to cry when I didn’t know you. My soul was full of blisters when I was younger.
Mother, why are you doing this to us? You take drugs, why do you do so? That is just so low. Mother, listen to me for once. Don’t keep me away from them, my sisters. What did I do to deserve this? I am just caught up in the middle.
Mother, I loved you when I didn’t know you. Now that I realize, I just hate you. It’s all your fault. Blaming my father for your mistakes and keeping me from my sisters. It’s all your fault. You didn’t care. You still don’t care.
You hang around with your many guys and your many so-called case workers, getting free money knowing that you still owe the life of us, the life of my sisters. Because of you, I can’t trust barely anyone around me. I am lucky to have such good friends. You are out of my life for now and I just want you to stay out of my life forever. I don’t need you.
THIS IS ALL TRUE AND JUST A BRIEF CHAPTER OF MY LIFE.
