A Pressured Life

I am a teenager, a pawn.
I have but one name, which is usually mispelled wrong.
I am surrounded by sin, I can't get away
I try hide it almost every day.
I'm shrouded in darkness.
Everyone wonders why I am so pale.
Almost 5 years ago I met my mother.
But without any bullets, what can be done?
Three years ago I started high school, thought I'd be free.
I could not believe how it sort of relaxed me.
I tried so hard to keep it hidden
For I knew it was forbidden.
But just a while ago I experienced a break up.
I can't believe I gotten this far.
But there's many feelings they'll never find
You see, the rest are in my mind.
Singled out for being myself
Putting my feelings on a high shelf.
Being dated just out of pity
Putting up with my rival.
All the things that the teachers claim
No matter what I am the blame.
They can't see the pain within
As my mind cuts my skin.
I cannot take this anymore
They'll never know what I feel inside
My heart clinched in my hand.
Wrapping my hands around my wrists
This story will not end yet with many twists.
Trying so hard to fit in
I find my way to entertain myself.
They all said I was a fool
I just walk there in the halls at school.