Eighteen

I awaken in the morning
The daylight has yet to shine.
I oversee the clouds
Looking out my cold window.

I sit here all alone
Thinking deeply to myself.
What am I supposed to do?
I am eighteen now.

I try to erase all the pain.
I don’t even have any wonderful memories.
Childhood dreams
Never even existed.

The key to my heart
Remains closed
I seem to remain brokenhearted.
Even at this new age of eighteen.

There is something I must do.
Something I must tell
Something I must say
My mind knows good and well.

I am swarming in emotions
Want to tell someone something
…but my emotions preventing me from doing so.
Preventing me from telling him how I really feel.

Eighteen years
Like a sharp pain in my ears
Never want to go back
To those lonely years

Yet, even now, it is still the same.
No one is there.
As I walk down the sidewalk.
Trembling in fear.

Eighteen years
Eighteen tears
Eighteen times
My heart has cried.

I never knew this
What true happiness feels like?
Now that I am eighteen.
I just want it all to disappear.

I am laying here
Unable to cry any more tears
Still processing and erasing the pain.
Now that I am eighteen years old.