I have no one to tell me it will be ok.
There is no one to stick up for me when I'm down.
There is no one to hold my heart.
To keep it from breaking.
I am to the point of emptiness.
All I can do is think.
I sit here alone crying while continiously staring.
My eyes wide open
...but all the pain is just held within my self.
I guess I am waiting for a guy to tell me that they love me.
Someone who I can actually love back without feeling so empty.
I don't see that ever happening.
No one knows the half of what I go thorough.
My dad blames me for everything.
Something I didn't do.
People by now would end their lifes.
...but I won't no matter how lonely I am.
The thought of my dream is keeping me alive.
I'm trying so hard.
To the point of a headache.
Just to be heard.
Just for my singing vice to be heard.
I am singing but no one hears me.
No one feels it.
I feel as though I am singing to myself.
...but yet, I am still singing.
It is my dream.
I am still the point of emptiness.
Even if I have to sing alone.
Where no one is in sight to hear it.
No one to catch my hear as is falls.
WHY AM I HERE?
ALONE?
IS IT TO FIND SOMEONE?
TO BE WITH?
NO?
YES?
WHO KNOWS BUT I'LL PLAY IT
BY YEAR....BUT...
ITS GETING EASIER
BUT I DONT REALLY KNOW
HER?
IS THAT WHAT I MEAN?
I DONT KNOW.
You think you know what it is like to be me?
Continue reading and you shall see.
You don't know what it is like to live your life daily
..but making it seem like your only friend is the computer screen.
There will always be someone that talks about you
but feeling like someone is after you is a different story.
Not being accepted is normal.
The feeling of rejection is much worse.
Walking the halls with people you know is fun.
...but at the end all they do is laugh behind your back.
I try hold in all my emotions.
When I get home, my heart is crying in continuious motion..
Having strict parents is also normal
...but having a strict blind father is another situation.
For me, is is so hard to find love.
My heart is like a delicate dove
Yet, shattered from the many rejections and the past heartbreaks.
There is no one like me.
Everyone can obviously see.
..but to them I am no more than just a weird outcast.
I don't fit in.
I am not even go enough.
What girls doesn't like boys?
What guys don't like girls?
Me, I' can like a guy
...but to a guy, I am not even worth their time.
Many says crushes are fun.
In my case, crushes are no fun when you get rejected every single time.
Everyone has something or someone that makes them feel good.
You don't know what it is like to always be in tears and not feel good about yourself even when someone tells you that you look good.
Everyone has lied before.
So have I.
When I do good, no matter what.
They lie to me
Especially if it is a guy.
You don't know what is like not to be able to put a real smile on your face.
I have yet to do so.
I have yet to feel truly happy.
Everyone wants that special person in their life.
You don't know how it is thinking you'll never find it.
Thinkign you was mean to be alone.
Having the one you like not like you back.
Or just being so afraid to tell that person you like them because you'll get rejected for the continuious time..
I sit in my room.
All alone.
Sometimes in the dark with the light from my computer shining.
Having no one to fix this cold heart of mine.
Crying so hard that my eyes actually start to burn a little.
Being judge every single day.
What I wear
What I do
How I do it
How I dress
How I wear my clother
How I walk
Asking me questions
Where's your mom?
What you do other that be online?
Why your dad is blind?
How your dad do this?
How ytour dad does that?
Telling me how I should do thing.
Telling me I should changed.
I am tired of changing.
I've within the past 4 years just to feel wanted.
...and yet it just didn't work.
Having your dad being overprotective of you is one thing
...but not letting me be a teenager is another.
He thinks places I would like to hang out at is too dangerous.
You don't know how it feels to just be sick of your life.
Waking up everyday alone.
Just wishing you had one guy that can love me.
Having one guy that wants to be with me
Having one guy to just accept me for who I am.
You think you know me?
Until you have lived my life
You know nothing about me
Only what your eyes can see.
My life is just a constant SPIN AROUND
Back and forth to a never ending web of emotions
No matter how hard I try
My heart is just CONSTANTLY dying.
Trying so hard to find someone in sync with me.
Someone for my EYES can really see.
Someone who can save me from all this PAIN.
No matter how hard I run.
I can't get AWAY.
Like a track star running everyday.
I am lying here in my self-pathetic life.
Can I just have someone that is just mine?
My WORLD.
My ETERNITY.
If you are out there, let yourself be known to me.
Just catch me as I am falling..
...because my heart has already took all chances
and the BIG leap.
Yet I fell way too DEEP.
I stuck here all ALONE.
I am just fed with my own sef-pain.
If you are out there, PLEASE come save me from all this PAIN.
All of it is TOO much to bare.
Let yourself be known to me so you can be my ETERNITY.
