You don't know what it is like to be scared to walk up the street from your house thinking you'll get hit by a car.
You don't know what it is like to not feel as though you'll get very far.
You don't know what it is like to have your best friends even talk about you.
You don't know what it is like, you don't have a clue.
You don't know what it is like not to have any family close by.
You don't know what it is like when your friends try to change you and lie.
You don't know what it is like to cry every night.
You don't know what it is like to feel as though you can't do nothing right.
You don't know what it is like to feel worthless.
You don't know what it is like to feel the hurt, nevertheless.
You don't know what it is like never to feel appriciated or accepted.
You don't know what it is like to always feel rejected.
You don't know what it is like to have a mothing who doesn't care about you.
You don't know what it is like not know what is true.
You don't know what it is like to have a father who can not see.
You don't know what it is like to be me.
The smallest things mean more to me.
They're what bring me hope.
The smallest things are what brings joy to my life.
It's amazing how that happens.
A delicate rose.
The shining of the moonlight.
A written entry in a lost diary.
Those are the little things that lifts my soul.
It's High School. Wake up in the MORNING and never know what could happen. You make MISTAKES, you'll make them twice, you'll make them 3 times but somehow you will get away with it. FIGHTS and pep-rallies, so many kids there is bound to be something up-tight. Skipping classes, skip class so much it gets boring. Rumors, gossip everywhere. HIGH SCHOOL life just isn't fair. Clubs, groups, and publications, we are always dedicated in the paper. SPORTS, JV and Varsity, the long hour practices, and the pain of the game. It's never lame. Be SPONTANEOUS. Make PLANS. Break plans. Be in LOVE and you'll get ATTACHED. Kissing on the stairwell. Someone will get JEALOUS and fall real hard. Get your HEART BROKEN several times. Cry, cry harder than you ever have and then LAUGH at it later. Laugh so hard you can't stop. Lost in the twisted morals of the hallways. Everyone knows everybody, you can't help to think that the whole school is related.
COMPETITIONS in everything, winning seems to be everything. Everybody dress so fresh, such a big deal but always teased. Go all out for a dress down, go all out just to be put down.
There are teachers that are mean, teachers that are nice, teachers that you love to hate, and teachers that get you because you are late. FRESHMANS are just starting out, SOPHMORES are running about, JUNIORS are just waiting, and SENIORS are debating to get out. A clash of all CREATIVITY. They can judge, reject, and criticize but don't even have a clue. Have MOMENTS that you wish would never end. Have moments you wish never began. Have conversations that you'll NEVER FORGET. Have conversations without saying a word. Say the WRONG thing at the wrong time. Say the wrong thing at the right time. Get angry. Be CONFUSED. Another fight or a big crowded arguemented event. It is hard, it is cruel, it can be the worst day of your life or the best day of your life. It will all become clear eventually. It's HIGH SCHOOL. No matter what happens you'll always say you miss it.
(Officially published in my Chester High School Class of 2008 yearbook)
To live with the darkness or live with the pain.
The eyes of darkness through the rain.
My mind has no way out
I am just worn-out.
Plenty of words
All the sayings.
Thoughts running around like records
Plan for the living
Plan for the dead.
Isn't it possible that my heart has bled.
Proof of my tears
All the memories
None which I posses
All I want is success.
This is my living proof
Which no one seems to disproof.
