Why Try To Change My Identity?

I've now lost all my motivation.
I love only one person.
But I am the screw up.
I am hurt.
I am torn.
Love is not for me.
It is exhausting and tiring.
I am not accepted.
I will never get over it.
I cannot change anything that I am.
I never lied.
If I am quiet.
I'm looked at as stuck up.
If I speak.
I am looked at as rude.
I lost faith.
I am unworthy.
I am trying to believe.
But I am just lonely.
I do know I gave 110%.
But I know doing that
I will never have love.
Everyday I lay awake.
Everyday I pray and wait.
I am wondering if I am doing it right.
If I am missing something.
If I am not accepted for me and my flaws.
Then I do not have an identity anymore.
Damaged cannot express the words I am feeling.
In love and helpless describes it much better.
Now I can cry.
And possibly self-destruct
I had something to believe in
Not anymore.