Struggling War With Myself and I

So many nights all alone
Struggling between what I want and what I need.
I try to keep strong and not cry.
I am begging, pleading, and crying for help.
I am in war with myself.
The person that I am
And the person everyone thinks I should be.
I make the same mistakes time and time again
So many things I have endured.
I feel like my life is not mine anymore.
I have been a fighter to the core.
Fight to just have a life of my own.
No one that believes in me
Just saying things people think I need to hear.