Wrong To Be Human

All I want to do is to see people happy.
But everything I dream of I fail at.
One person who tried to mend it all
Is the only person I can rely on.
Everything is so hard to explain.
Saying they care or so they claim.
No one else even listens
Or simply pays attention
My mind drifts to find placement in life.
Somehow holding on tight
I try to stay positive
And hold my balance.
All while keeping a smile across my face.
Everything I try to accomplish seism to fall 10 feet under
Or so I wonder.
I am like a nightingale waiting to break free.
To spread my wings so I can flee.
Positive and negative spaces
So coherent, blending together to create life interlacing.
Put a bullet through my brain
The part where I supposed  to hold intelligence.
In my mind that is where it all make sense.
Some sort of sense.
Trying to make sees of all this.
Dreams I once had, a distant memory
Trying to perform CPR every time and continuously failing.
When the sun rises it is watches over me.
I would leave the house at sunrise
Knowing I don't want to even come back.
My steps I backtrack.
And life leaves me behind.
I return after the sun sets.
Returning like nothing has happened.
I guess it is wrong to be human after all.