I speak in song lyrics and love quotes

I'm socially awkward and rather impatient

Waiting in long lines is something not-so good for me.

Don't even think about walking slow in front of me. 

I will rage and walk around.

I rant about everything

From how someone is telling me what to do

To social issues and social change.

Somehow you like that about me.

I'm rather impatient most of the time

And plan everything out to the T

It fits within my OCD

I don't really like people

Nor do I like politics. 

But that is acceptable to you

And I have let you in. 

Checking, 1...2...3...times again and again.

I opened my fragile self to you.

I don't feel the need to always do something to gain my greatest satisfaction 

Because you are my greatest satisfaction

My greatest notification

My humble 140 characters

My 600 x 600 pixel image post.

You are like a song I can not get out.

You know, that favorite song you sing to yourself day in and say out

Even in shower. 

Because you can't help it.

You have and are handling the worst of me

My mental craziness 

Where I'm down one day and excited the next

This is all before getting all of me.

You take care of my mental

And match me psychologically 

You are here

And you there

Not just somewhere

But with me

Even when I'm half sleep

You are there when I could go Insane

And freak the hell out.

Now I don't have to check the door as often

Where I'm second guessing everything. 

And paranoia sets in

I'm more comfortable 

But still fragile and susceptible 

You are now lodged into my bloodstream. 

And then make utter excuses that it is was my fault to begin with. Why the hell it always had to be my fault. Why can't I be loved with all my faults? I have plenty. For example, my OCD. I challenge it. Rearranging things asymmetrically but then going back to fix it again and again. How about my constant overthinking. The same things repeat in my head over and over. Sleep, move over. That probably won't happen tonight. How about the last one. You said you understand me, that you "got" me. I thought you were the one. I thought you were the one. I thought you were....the one. Support was what I needed and I got none. I must be some damn jackpot. A prize to be won. Then another comes along. Challenging ever thought I have. Asking all sorts of questions in my brain. Rambling and rambling. I almost closed the door and you stuck your foot there telling me to "open the damn door". Is this real? Is this happening to me? You see me face value. This inferiority complex. I'm scared out of my mind and my heart racing trying to understand it all at once. But damn, you came to challenge my heartbreak and make it disappear. I have problems with being happy but you make me smile to the point it hurts. The loneliness doesn't kill me anymore because you step in and take control. I stand on my own two feet but break apart at the seams. Yet you call me beautiful and say you are happy I exist. I want to be under the stars where nothing matters and for a split second, I'm calm. I'm calm where I'm not overthinking too much. And that is when I am with you. You are like that one bright star in the sky. 

I returned my heart right where you left me

And the engagement ring you gave. 

It's little a bitter, sour taste but so bittersweet. 

However, I can't hold on to it and without words I left it there along with the air I once breathed of you.

Believe it or not, I had to withstand the emotional burden of not being enough

Like a piercing knife through the artery. 

With all honesty, you left my heart battered and bruised 

Squeezing the life it once had and the motivation it once thrived.

I didn't want to be your princess or your queen. I just wanted to be your equal. 

No crown needed.

I have gotten over the emotion pain that lingers from what used to be us.

Most of the time, these things happen 

Like the first menstrual. You never know when it will begin or when it will end but it happens.

Then something does happens.

Someone unexpected and to actually put forth the mental effort 

To call me beautiful when I feel down 

To ease my OCD issues and anxiety

See, what you did is broke me down and send me back

Like traveling back in time to when I was 3 years old

In which I do not have much memory

Except crying and nap time

I cried so hard I went to sleep

And when I awaken, I cried some more.

Now he came along somehow

Or maybe he's been there this whole time.

I don't know.

He takes me to the places you could not

He travels a little over 100 miles to see me.

That's devotion to where he mends what was left of my heart. 

Where the heart meets the fragile soul

And strengthen it with a needle and thread. 

See, I can't explain to you what I'm feeling

Where you couldn't accept, he accepts all

And I mean my crazily impatient, overthinking flaws.

So don't come back to me saying you actually still love me because I do not believe you. 

You miss what used to be us and it is too late. 

I have already forgiven you from the beginning. 

Maybe you will let go one day because I already have for my sake and for someone else to come and take its place.

I have shut everyone out since I left

Since everything. I close the door on everyone. Maybe except a few people

You, possible

I am not sure because I know of you

We work, we live, we breathe 

Maybe you understand.

Maybe you don't.

That day, that day, that day.

Though means nothing 

Means actually something

Because I opened up to someone

Maybe I was already completely open

Fragile and already broke

But holding on by a mere thread.

I'm a awkward  and everyone seems to leave

Goes away and disappear

Somehow, you actually talk to me

Surprising because you would run too just like everyone else

Through the hurt and pain

You came over

Outside of the normal routine. 

Even through what we went through separately. 

I somehow found something in you to like

Maybe it was already there. 

And when we kissed

And when we kissed

I felt fear, pain, and heartbreak. 

Maybe it eased out individual pain a little. 

However your lips are like a sweet taste of wine. 

Though exaggerated and being embarrassed

For that moment, I didn't have to think much.

Think about the pain that had been caused to me by others.

The heartbreak

The way I'm overlooked by everyone

The outcast

But it was that moment

The moment I enjoyed.