Eighteen

I awaken in the morning
The daylight has yet to shine.
I oversee the clouds
Looking out my cold window.

I sit here all alone
Thinking deeply to myself.
What am I supposed to do?
I am eighteen now.

I try to erase all the pain.
I don’t even have any wonderful memories.
Childhood dreams
Never even existed.

The key to my heart
Remains closed
I seem to remain brokenhearted.
Even at this new age of eighteen.

There is something I must do.
Something I must tell
Something I must say
My mind knows good and well.

I am swarming in emotions
Want to tell someone something
…but my emotions preventing me from doing so.
Preventing me from telling him how I really feel.

Eighteen years
Like a sharp pain in my ears
Never want to go back
To those lonely years

Yet, even now, it is still the same.
No one is there.
As I walk down the sidewalk.
Trembling in fear.

Eighteen years
Eighteen tears
Eighteen times
My heart has cried.

I never knew this
What true happiness feels like?
Now that I am eighteen.
I just want it all to disappear.

I am laying here
Unable to cry any more tears
Still processing and erasing the pain.
Now that I am eighteen years old.

Lonely Rain

I am sitting in my room
Sitting alone while the rain fall
It reminds of all the heartbreak that was caused.
The rain comes down likes tears
As I cry
Nobody hears.
Unclear to the naked eye.
Leaving marks in the way of its path.

I look out the window
Blurring life as I would normally see it
making it all seem like a dream
But the pain is all reality.
No reflection
no sparkle
no glistening sunlight.

There are raindrops on my glasses
not allowing me to see things
I am alone
No one else is here out in the rain.

The rain is the only comfort I see.
Because no one else is ever there for me.
Everyone always leaves me alone
Always leave me cold
I cry every night wondering is there anyone out there.
It is like I am banging on the door
but no one hears, no one opens it
it's like the more I scream,
the more alone I feel and become.

My heart is torn into a thousand pieces
and it's never going to be whole again.
It shattered like shards of glass
Because everyone turns their back on me.

Now I wonder where to run,
who to trust, when I should love.
Is there EVER a true love?
Im not so sure anymore,
and Im not too sure I care

I sit here thinking alone in the rain,
thinking of my sorrow, misery, and pain.
I sit here listening to the thunder crashing down
Because no can here me.

I am sitting here in my room
Looking out the window as the rain fall.
Listening to the song that reminds me of the one I use to love.
As I change the song.
Here comes another one
Listening to a song reminding me of the one I like.
But all together these tears fall
Like the raindrop falling on the outside.

Manifestation

The manifestation of a sickness called hate
Sweeps across this nation that holds no fate
A reference to independence is silenced by foes
Choking while smoking away, losing the ebb and flow
Systematically shuting down the life support machine
Gasping, grasping, fighting for life, death is a fiend
Scream young child, let your voice be heard
Saintly while fainting, this world is the victim of murder
Whip lash the splish splash, no games to be played
These bastards and whores just want to get laided
Teacher be not hasty, your students will not learn
No hunger for knowledge, no fire to burn
Quail this strom that destroys my faith
Wipe away this death and dismay, theres no time to waste
Words drip from the pages of ancient books
Whilst sin dangles enticing deals from sinister hooks
The contemplation of deeds undone
Loom over the heads of heros unsung
Folk tales enthrall naive young minds
Until those tales become real, and no happy ending is there to find.

Unspoken Likeness

If I look into your eyes
I know what I would see.
If I told you this right now.
I am unable to tell you how I feel

I wish for something more
All I want to do is shout it out.

I can’t believe inside
What I am feeling
Every time I see you
My heart starts beating crazy.

I really don’t know what to do.
It is up to you to tell me.

Every time I see you
I become shy and quiet
I wish you would say something to me too
About how much I really like you.

Broken: Reset Me

I am a girl whos heart has been broken more times than I can count and it has been put together with crazy glue and double stick tape trying to erasing the pain which is still there deep inside.

No one knows that I am pretending all alone. I fake the happiness like nothing was wrong. If you look in the mirror you'll see my broken smile, striving for perfection. I am just tired of being rejected.

I smile to hide the tears
Laugh to cover the fears
...but when the day is over
When the night has come
All you'll see is someone who wants to find pure happiness.

All I want is someone to wipe my tears away
Tell me that everything will be ok.
Restore all the self-esteem that was lost.
Fulfill the emptiness deep inside

To tell me the truth
...and hold me but never let go.
To understand how I feel
but deal with all my tears
No just once, be there everyday.
No matter how much or how many days I feel this way.

Unbreak my heart
To unfreeze my heart
Love me unconditionally
To wake me up from this dream
Call me beautiful and mean it
...and bring me back to reality

Never to judge me
Accept me for who I am and all my flaws
To see right inside of me
My heart and my soul

I am a girl whos heart has been broken more times than I can count and it has been put together with crazy glue and double stick tape trying to erasing the pain which is still there deep inside.

[Restart]
I'll be 18 soon
So someone just....
[Reset Me]

Crying On The Inside

Sometimes I cry from the inside
Often without much reason why;
On occasion I would wish to die

Each day, I would shed a few tears;
Giving in to all my greatest fears,
Crying out, hoping someone hears

Emotions stirred left me confused;
My heart is broken, battered, abused,
This poor, depressed heart left bruised

Why do everyone leave me like this;
Wretched, and wishing to be missed,
Vulnerable to every single touch and kiss?

Watching as someone has someone new,
I pine away, longing for someone to be with me too;
Pain slams into me, knowing it's true

Might there be nothing I could say
That could change the pain I feel everyday.
And bring someone to me just for one day?

My heart became so sore?
Unable to fell where it is anymore
Am I paying for what happened before?

Though these feelings I try to hide
By diminished faith I wish to abide
Yet desperation rules supreme inside.
That is why I cry from the inside.

Torn In Two

I thought I finally found
Someone to call the love of my life.
Someone who’ll be by my side
But I was wrong

I though you loved me
The way that I do
But I was such a fool
To believe that you were the “one” for me

I still can’t believe
That you did this to me
You broke my heart in two
I falling apart
Yet again.

You left me
All alone
To pick up the pieces
That is left of my broken heart.

I am hiding all of the pain inside
You just left me aside
Not know what to do.
I am still heartbroken, torn in two.

Brokenheart

Lastnight while sitting
under the moonlight,
I began to reflect
on happier days.

There was such a great
sense of loneliness.
A huge void that would
just not go away.

As i sat there staring
at the stars above.
I felt the tears begin
to flood my eyes.

For i gave to you
all of my love,
Only to learn that
your love was a lie.

Somehow i will try
to make a new start.
For i shall hold my
head up with grace.

I will force a big
smile upon my face.
As i hide the pain
of my brokenheart.

Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.