Dreams

Monday, January 29, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I hold on to my dreams.
I hold on to my memories.
I have a title to my right.
What I want is in sight.
Music is all I have.
I'll be the one with the last laugh.
Everything that I want.
I have to do it all alone and up front.
I don't beg for nothing.
I do it myself.
If I start.
I get nothing at all.
I deserve a lot.
Nothing was ever given.
I challenge my mind.
My thought are in line.
I will not let anything get in my way.
That is all I have to say.
I have my dreams.
that is what I shall follow.

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I Miss How We Used To Be

Monday, January 29, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I miss how we used to be. Together forever we thought we would be. I gave you my heart and you gave me yours but at the end you lied to me and tore my heart in 2. I wish you could see how much you truly hurt me. I wasn't really good enough for you. You never wanted me either. You wanted someone else to your liking. No matter if I am single or taken I will still have feelings for you. I think you know that too. The fact is I still love you.

I remember how we used to be. Late night phone calls and listening to the sound of your voice everytime you called. I miss the way you used to hold me tight. I knew that it felt so right. You are the one that I always seem to look at even when I was alone. It is impossible to like someone else if I still have these feelings for you. You know that too.

I just miss you and everything about you but I have to get over you. I remember how you broke my heart, how you left me alone crying for you and hoping you were just joking. When I saw you hugging and kissing someone I still forgave you. You didn't tell me but I still forgave you. Then you broke up with me left me alone. Breaking my bearing, breaking my soul. You talked about me to your friends, making me feel worthless and regreting everything we've done together.

I just miss how we used to be, how you used to kiss me, how when I was feeling bad about myself you lift me right off my feet. You called me "beautiful", something that no one has ever done before. My feelings for you are still in my core. I wish I can trust you and believe you just one more time. I wish I can hold and kiss you just one more time but yet you left me with a brokenheart and you didn't even cared but I still miss how we used to be.

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How Many Times?

Saturday, January 27, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

How many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love?
I really thought he was the one.
It was just a silly game.

How many tears
Must I need to cry before I find love?
It is so hard
but I must keep my guard

How many times
Must my heart breaks to pieces?
before I find love
I am so misunderstood.
This is coming from deep inside.

One thing my heart is sure of.
I will not be played a fool.
My heart is on lock
No one will ever break it.

How many times
will it take to find my true love?

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You Didn't Love Me the Way that I Love You

Monday, January 22, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I have to get it out of my mind. All that you told me boy was right in front of my face. feel as though I've been here before even though it isn't the same. just hit the dorr. I am tired of these games.

You didn't love me the way that I love you.

You've done wrong but didn't admit it. I can't believe the boy I loved made me feel ashamed. Try to do the unity with you and me but now it's gone. Was together beautifully, I wish you could see you left left me all alone.

You didn't love me the way that I loved you.
You know that it is over and I can do without you. You are driving me crazy.

Remember the nights you used yo hold me tight. I brought you everything and you've taken advantage of it. That is cool because I am through with it.

You didn't love me the way that I loved you.
You know that it is over and I can do without you. You are driving me crazy.

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When People Talk Sh**

Friday, January 19, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

When people talk about you
You just ignore it.
But you can't help to think
that you want to punch their lights out.
They know that they are hating on you
but they can't be you.
They know that too.
I am tired of people talking shit.
I am left in a time continum
Those who start are on my list.
You can't be me.
You'll never be me.
For those I've dating are missing out.
Because you are not worth my time.
For as long as I can count.
You'll me me but you'll never have me.
Don't talk about me if you can't back it up.
I am tired of hearing it.
It is all the same.
So I'll go alone.
If I can't find love, oh well.
If you talk about me, oh well
but I won't hesitate to say something.
I will surely react.
Let it be know to those who talk shit.

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10 Feet Under

Friday, January 19, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I digging myself 10 feet deeper.
My head like a heater
Hot and heavy.
but not so bravely.
I hate myself for liking you
I am diging myself 10 feet deeper.
You know that too.
because I have told you too.
I'll wait to see what happens.
Even if I feeling like a dork.
I'll let let it work.
I have a crush on you.
You know that too.
But I am digging deeper.
I am digging myself 10 feet deeper
into something that I know will never work.
I'll just leave it alone
because I'll be risking my own soul.
Falling for you
because no one will catch me as I fall
As I fall 10 feet deeper in to this hole.

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Crush [Part I]

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

My emotions are wondering
but my thoughts remain
I know what I desire
I know who I admire
I feel for someone
who doesn't feel that way back.
Am I falling hard?
Or will I be caught as I fall?
Tell me, do you feel something?
I know I do.
I have this crush on you.
You know it's true.
I want it to advance futher
I'll be the one to comfort you.
I will even help you too.
Am I going about this the wrong way?
I don't know what you think.
Do you want me too?
I guess this is natural for you.
For those feeling the way I do.
My crush for you is true.
Not some silly illusion.
You are the one I want.
I want it to be more than just a crush.
I want it to be love.

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Come As I Am

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

No one will lie to me ever.
I won't take it, never.
I am come as I am.
No one will change that.
My life may have suck.
and everyone else is just gold plate.
but the tarnish reveals itself to me.
That is something my eyes can see.
I come as I am.
I am the creation.
My mind is set.
That is common knowledge, you bet.
Try me if you will.
but it will come 10 times harder
10 times better
and 10 times faster
better than the average.
I come as I am.
I am better than the aberage.
No one will stop me.
Consider this.
This is what you will see.
Nothing will stop me.
I come as I am.

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Think Of Me

Monday, January 15, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I walk around the city.
No even thinks of me.
I come home.
I sit in my room all alone.
I've been in relationships.
Being used more than twice.
Have you ever felt special?
I wasn't even called beautiful.
Am I even good enough.
I am tired.
I am exhausted.
I am close to burning myself out.
I am still here.
but no one thinks of me.
I cry in tears
but no one sees if it is real.

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None

Thursday, January 11, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I have none.
I am all alone.
I find out
that I am a atheist.
What I see beyond my dark brown eyes.
My soul bears to hide.
I believe in nothing.
No hopes and faith.
That's a big leap.
They sell their dreams that they can't keep.
No one understands what I am going through.
There's no heaven
There's no hell.
There's is just the world.
No one will tell.
I am just alone.
In a Atheists world.

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I Am Me

Thursday, January 11, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I am going to let lose.
I am going to do what I want to do.
Let them hate on me.
They don't care to see.
I am me.
No one else can be me.
I will make it happen.
I have myself to prove.
I have nothing for you.
I don't care if I stay alone.
I have retained my own soul.
You can say I am the lucky one.
The hard life I lead is a ton.
Make up your mind.
You want to stay with me.
Or just cut it.
If I can't trust you.
You might as well don't talk to me too.
I am me.
There will be no one else.
No change unless I want to.
I will break loose.
Break loose from the chains that bind me.
If you want to be rude and disrespectful to me.
Then just let me be
because I am just me.

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Who Am I?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Who am I?
Am I Christian or am I a Islam
Feeling angry but yet so calm.
I am black but can it all just be that?

Who am I?
I don't know myself.
I feel so selfish
yet am I doing the right thing?
I'm tired of being who I am.
I want to change.
I feel like such a little lamb.

Who am I?
I try to find out why.
Am I good or am I bad?
Am I happy or am I sad?
Should my decisions be smart
or are they just dumb.

Who am I?
I want to have something else.
To get me through my own self.
I beg to wonder
Where's my mother?
What is my background?

Who am I?
I need the strength to get over.
I need to keep myself sober.
What's my religion?
What can I do?
Can I change it when I want to?

Who am I?
I am still wonder why
How am I supposed to act.
There is something that I totally lack.
I want to start over.
Get rid of my past.
Start fresh and clean.
I will never look back.
I will not have to wonder why?
I won't have to wonder who I am?

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Time And Confusion

Monday, January 08, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

It takes time to find the one you love.
Not just one kiss and one hug.
The confusion of all it all.
Is finding the person who'll fill your heart.

My mind is pondering
I am wondering
The time it takes for someone to to start coming.
Liking 3 guys is confusion
but 2 of them are lusts illusion.

Who is the right one?
I'll take the time.
All the words like the shining sun.
So unbelieveable
So powerful
So realistic
but only one can end my confusion.

I'll take the time.
Who will show me true love?
I must grasp at that tiny hope
That only one will be my everything above.
It takes time to love someone.
but its vast confusion to figure out its illusion.

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Loss of Friendship or Thought of Rejection

Sunday, January 07, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Men are so analytical, yet they DON'T realize just how many their attitudes about women hinder them from finding true love....

I wanna talk briefly about the majority of men that are AFRAID to date their friends.

Men ALWAYS wonder where the good girls have gone, even though FEW men are willing to give a REAL WOMAN the chance to LOVE them.

When MOST men meet a girl that's fun, CUTE, nice, sweet, easy to talk to, etc. rather than considering her as a candidate for romance, the typical man locks her into the "FRIENDS" box & throw away the key forever.

Is it any wonder why men have such difficulty finding TRUE LOVE, when their minds are programmed to classify GOOD woman as being only good for friendship?

But, when you ask a man why they do this you'll usually hear "Because I DON'T want to lose the friendship" even though they tend to maintain contact with their ex-girlfriends anyway.

The risk of catching a lot of stuff for saying this, I'm just going to be honest....

I really DON'T buy it when a man says that he DOESN'T wanna risk losing a friendship.

MOST men have a deep-rooted desire to feel like they're IN CONTROL of their interactions with women.

The TRUTH is that MOST men AREN'T really afraid of losing the friendship.

They just want to have a girl to say they have known forever and treat differently from other girls. To me, I don't think that is right.

If a man decides to want to date his female friend then he should treat as good as the previous girlfriends he had and don't treat her like you don't want to talk to her and then keep the relationship going for only a week breaking up with her and start dating other girls after the breakup. I should know it happened to me.

My belief is that because guys get a kick out of breaking up with girls, the vast majority of women have an enormous FEAR of being rejected by a man they want!!!

They get a rush out of dishing out the pain but, they DON'T EVER want to be on the receiving end of rejection.

MOST women claim that it ISN'T ladylike to approach a man that they're attracted to they expect him to come to her instead] but, if I were to breakdown the percentages,

I'd estimate that:

5% of them are independent & liberated enough to throw gender roles out the window & approach any woman that they're attracted to.

25% say that it's NOT manlike & REALLY feel this way

40% say that it's NOT manlike; when the truth's that they're really just SCARED to do it

30% would NEVER approach a woman because some of these ladies are stuck-up &

EXPECT every man to make the 1st approach [even though they're planning to reject most of them just for the fun of it anyway].

These attitudes are what I truly believe are a PRIMARY CONTRIBUTING FACTOR to mens failures in love today & their repetitive poor choices in lovers.

GONE is the generation that believes a friendship is the foundation for a lasting relationship & as a result, men have programmed themselves toward chasing the woman that will NEVER be there for them [while letting fear drive them to neglect EVERY woman that would be].

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My Anonymous Love Letter

Thursday, January 04, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

I feel pain and you are there for me somehow, wiping my brow and whispering words of comfort. I want so much to repay your kindness to my heart, but i'm not sure where to begin at all. I know people always say to start from the beginning, but I don’t want to go back that far again. I want you to know who I am because of you being in my life, not who I was long before you came around my life, my heart, and always in my mind!!!

I can see many things when I look inside your eyes, to the center of who you are, who I am, and who we might be when we grow old together someday. Sharing the laughter of private moments alone or of the love shared in the dark of the night or the light of a sunny summer day. You are the light that guides my soul into a safe harbor I never knew before you came into my life.

Love is a great word to describe what I feel and how I felt when I fall for you every time that I see you come into the room. You shake the foundations of who I am and build me up when a piece crumbles away from me.

I’m scared to face the day again without you in some way. You make life worth living for whatever time I might have left a day, a month, years, a lifetime of memories to fill my heart. Things smell sweeter and bitter all at the same time, things that never seemed to interest me, now they do because they interest you somehow. I miss your voice in my ear, your voice as it quivers with my loving confession, hoping it doesn’t fall upon deaf ears.

The heat of your heart, the dawn of your soul felt through the specks of freckles on your skin. Eyes giving life to the soul I see through them, through me, about me, all that I know they know too. I long for and sometimes fear the touch that will link spot to freckle and freckle through to my heart. I want someone to trace the lines together and make me whole again, inside more than the outside; the inside is who I really am to those I love.

I commit my heart to this pen, and my soul to the paper beneath it. I only hope the words are what I want them to be and what I want you to hear. I want to be tears forming in your eyes, wiped away by my lips upon your cheeks, a sweet salty taste. Something given out of love and not from pain, something dreamed of in the middle of the night, granting a wish to a lonely heart of hearts! Hear my voice crying out in the night to take me back one more time; don’t let this love die in the darkness of the night. Rage on with it, fight for it, fight for a heart that loves you beyond our years. Place your hand upon my chest again and feel a heart that beats for you alone, that skips a beat whenever you are near me, and that only wants for you to love it back. Share a kind word between our hearts until the sun comes back around again. Survive another day with my love in your heart to cast away the darkness that hangs just behind our eyes. Come to rest in my arms as my fingers play with your hair. Let me kiss the lips I remember so well in my memories that danced with mine, a passionate dance. I want you to know how much you scare me, when you smile in my direction. To know you are thought about, loved, cared for, dreamed about....and longed for in some way. Stop my heart by returning to me, give my memories back to me and tell me that you love me too.

The Anonymous Poet
(MAD - 2006)

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Leave Me Alone

Wednesday, January 03, 2007 Mellyssa A. Diggs 0 Comments

Now you want to be friends with me.
You just don't see.
I really don't like you.
You've lost all respect in me.
What you did will never change.
You left a hole that doesn't compare in range.
Just leave me alone.
My heart for you has turned to stone.
I can not forgive you.
I don't care what you do.
Just leave me be.
Go see your girls, not me.
You talk about me behind my back.
Now you'll know how I'll react.
If you got something to say, say it to me.
Otherwise, keep your mouth shut about me.
I will not be disrespected.
I am protecting my soul.
So, just leave me the hell alone.

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