You Don't Know

You don't know what it is like to be scared to walk up the street from your house thinking you'll get hit by a car.
You don't know what it is like to not feel as though you'll get very far.
You don't know what it is like to have your best friends even talk about you.
You don't know what it is like, you don't have a clue.

You don't know what it is like not to have any family close by.
You don't know what it is like when your friends try to change you and lie.
You don't know what it is like to cry every night.
You don't know what it is like to feel as though you can't do nothing right.
You don't know what it is like to feel worthless.
You don't know what it is like to feel the hurt, nevertheless.

You don't know what it is like never to feel appriciated or accepted.
You don't know what it is like to always feel rejected.
You don't know what it is like to have a mothing who doesn't care about you.
You don't know what it is like not know what is true.
You don't know what it is like to have a father who can not see.
You don't know what it is like to be me.

Little Things

The smallest things mean more to me.
They're what bring me hope.
The smallest things are what brings joy to my life.
It's amazing how that happens.
A delicate rose.
The shining of the moonlight.
A written entry in a lost diary.
Those are the little things that lifts my soul.

High School Life

It's High School. Wake up in the MORNING and never know what could happen. You make MISTAKES, you'll make them twice, you'll make them 3 times but somehow you will get away with it. FIGHTS and pep-rallies, so many kids there is bound to be something up-tight. Skipping classes, skip class so much it gets boring. Rumors, gossip everywhere. HIGH SCHOOL life just isn't fair. Clubs, groups, and publications, we are always dedicated in the paper. SPORTS, JV and Varsity, the long hour practices, and the pain of the game. It's never lame. Be SPONTANEOUS. Make PLANS. Break plans. Be in LOVE and you'll get ATTACHED. Kissing on the stairwell. Someone will get JEALOUS and fall real hard. Get your HEART BROKEN several times. Cry, cry harder than you ever have and then LAUGH at it later. Laugh so hard you can't stop. Lost in the twisted morals of the hallways. Everyone knows everybody, you can't help to think that the whole school is related.

COMPETITIONS in everything, winning seems to be everything. Everybody dress so fresh, such a big deal but always teased. Go all out for a dress down, go all out just to be put down.

There are teachers that are mean, teachers that are nice, teachers that you love to hate, and teachers that get you because you are late. FRESHMANS are just starting out, SOPHMORES are running about, JUNIORS are just waiting, and SENIORS are debating to get out. A clash of all CREATIVITY. They can judge, reject, and criticize but don't even have a clue. Have MOMENTS that you wish would never end. Have moments you wish never began. Have conversations that you'll NEVER FORGET. Have conversations without saying a word. Say the WRONG thing at the wrong time. Say the wrong thing at the right time. Get angry. Be CONFUSED. Another fight or a big crowded arguemented event. It is hard, it is cruel, it can be the worst day of your life or the best day of your life. It will all become clear eventually. It's HIGH SCHOOL. No matter what happens you'll always say you miss it.

(Officially published in my Chester High School Class of 2008 yearbook)

Living Proof

To live with the darkness or live with the pain.
The eyes of darkness through the rain.
My mind has no way out
I am just worn-out.
Plenty of words
All the sayings.
Thoughts running around like records
Plan for the living
Plan for the dead.
Isn't it possible that my heart has bled.
Proof of my tears
All the memories
None which I posses
All I want is success.
This is my living proof
Which no one seems to disproof.

Violin

Violin, the sweet voice of music. The wonder of it's hues. Listen to it's melody and watch it bloom. Be calm and let go. Just watch it grow. You will feel as you are floating in thin air.

It's wonderous kiss, you shall not miss. Listen to it's melody while you wish in it's summer bliss. Different tones and it's wonderous strings. You know it is real because you'll watch it play in full rings.

Violin, the sweet voice of music and it's melody. It feels like love straight from the stars above. Mixes of life and it's efficient sound. It lifts you up from the low ground.

Evoking deep feeling of soul and your ears roll. This beautiful sound is like freely butterflies. Either the sea or the river, it still makes your soul shiver. This melody is like deep ocean love because you'll let your live star again by the sound of this sweet violin.

Love

Love is something that you can not control but once you have it you can't let go.
Love is something you'll charish whether it is a short period of time or long but it will always be something you'll remeber.
Love is something that will make you laught and feel good. It will make your life worthwhile.
Love is just one thought. Thinking of ones beautiful eyes makes you want to happily cry.
Love is true to form. Not turned into hate or an selfish act. It is made to be special.
Love is is feeling that erases your stress, erases your heart from being so sore, erases feeling of being alone something you once thought you couldn't take anymore.
Love is a burning desire to be happy, a burning desire feel joy, a burning desire to just to feel like you are not trapped. You are free.
Love is not a punishment it is a special memory. It is to be charished with a slight innocent.
It is not a shallow dream, love is what makes memories. It should not be controlled by lust. It makes you feel strong like nothing could go wrong.
Love gives you the strength to make it through.
Love warms your heart. It gives you life. It gives you your soul to breathe.
Whenever my strength is not enough
Love is always there beside me, near me.
Sometimes you that one stare at you.
Love should mean that you could never tell a lie.
Never hurt them, never try,
Never bring tears to their eyes
You heart is a deep ocean of secrets but true love bares no secrets.
You know that love is true because it makes you feel fresh and new.

Hidden In This Smile

Hidden in a smile
Still with tears that I cry.
I don't understand this life of mine.
Alone with emotions that I hide.
Why I care about my miserable life?
Is it worth it or is it not?
No special memories of the past.
No recent ones I have.
Just an emtpy soul
Living a lie.
All I do is dream
Hiding behind this smile.
Wondering if my life is worthwhile
Screaming thousand times in a row
Sill, I haven't let go
I cry inside by day.
I cry out by night.
There's no one to save me.
This is so tough for anyone to see.
Mixed messages
Mixed emotions.
Tolerated everything
Yet, I still cry.
Hiding in this everyday smile.
I walk down the hallway.
No one looks
I stand in the doorway.
I am not even worth looking .
I try
Yet, I still cry.
I don't show.
I show no pain.
I show no emotion.
All of it is hidden by my wonderful smile